Smell of partener doesn't drive me crazy

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Registered: 08-07-2004
Smell of partener doesn't drive me crazy
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Tue, 02-26-2008 - 6:27pm

....it drives me into the arms of someone else...I got a question for you :
Would you leave a guy simply because his smell doesn't drive you crazy sexually?
Would you prefer a partner who causes you goose-bumps just by simply huffing his/her shirt or snuffing the scent of his/her neck when he/she holds you ?
I mean how important is it for you that you get turned on and not turned off by your partner's smell??? How important is it to you that your lover makes you hot just thinking of his personal body odor ??? Would you stay with a guy when he does not have that erotic arousal effect on you ??

Looking forward to your thoughts and opinions on this one!

Sweetanima

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Registered: 03-08-2004
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 7:30pm

No, I don't need to get turned on by

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Registered: 09-08-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 8:04pm

In all honesty, the only time my fiancee scent does anything for me is right after he gets out of the shower and he smells like a mix of his shampoo, soap, and his Old Spice deodorant. When it fades, there nothing special, but I love him no matter what he smells like at the moment.

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Registered: 03-31-2007
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 10:10pm

Welcome to the board, sweetanima.

Would you leave a guy simply because his smell doesn't drive you crazy sexually? No.

Would you prefer a partner who causes you goose-bumps just by simply huffing his/her shirt or snuffing the scent of his/her neck when he/she holds you ? No, not by huffing his shirt. I enjoy taking in his scent when he's clean and fresh, but not from his clothing.

I mean how important is it for you that you get turned on and not turned off by your partner's smell??? Not really important. I get turned on by so many things about my partner. Sometimes I like how he smells, then there are those days that he's been working outside in the heat -- the smell isn't so great on those days. It doesn't turn me off from him, but it doesn't make me want to jump on him either. Mostly it just makes me want him to take a shower, LOL.

How important is it to you that your lover makes you hot just thinking of his personal body odor ??? Not at all.

Would you stay with a guy when he does not have that erotic arousal effect on you ?? Guess so, we're going on 17 years ;-) He has a ton of effects on me .... his smell just isn't one of them.



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Avatar for sweetanima
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Registered: 08-07-2004
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 10:14pm

Thank you for your first responses so far, very helpful aspects of this scent matter. It is very wonderful of you to share your experiences on this!
You also inspired me to add more questions to this.
Ok ,the smell does not turn you on or turn you off, but you still like your partner's smell. Does that mean you would prefer in general a guy you can physically smell over a guy who even showered has a for you not so pleasant smell?
I agree that more things than smell can arouse someone. I just wonder if there are women out there who won't date a guy they can't smell. I kinda believe in the hypothesis of being attracted also to the smell = higher potential sexual arousal. There is research going on about that,see http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/bpl/psci/2006/00000017/00000010/art00002
for example ...and I try to figure out to what extent this might be in the way with my bf whom I am attracted to - though I am not at all attracted to him on that specific biochemical level. Personal experience has shown me though that I am the type of woman who gets easier aroused when the smell is very attractive as well. Just recently a friend introduced me to a man who instantly smelled incredibly sexy that I was turned on by it. Are there other woman out there who experienced that ?

My other question is to something I don't have an answer yet for myself:
If you were able to "improve" the natural scent of your partner would you do that?
If you would have to choose between two good potential partners would you follow your nose in this matter as well ? Did the sexual attraction improve over time even when the partner's smell wasn't that mind-blowing ?

Sorry for all those questions, I hope I will get more insight into this complex matter by your feeback . Thank you sooooo much for your upcoming comments on this!

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Registered: 12-12-2006
Tue, 02-26-2008 - 11:57pm

What you're describing is dogs, and other lesser evolved mammals.

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Registered: 08-19-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 9:44am

I've been lurking for a while here, but I thought I'd post to this because I was just talking to DB about this last night! lol

Scent never really meant anything to me until I started dating DB. I never took any notice of how a guy smelled, unless he'd overdone it on the cologne, which is a turn-off as far as I'm concerned. But I absolutely love the way DB smells, and under the right circumstances, it can make me a little week in the knees. I'm not too keen on his after-exercise smell, but I also don't like it if his aftershave completely smothers his natural scent.

DB is in the Navy, and he was on a deployment last year for 6 months. There would be times when I would be sitting at work and missing him, and I could swear I'd just got a whiff of his scent, and I'd get all warm and cozy and just feeling a little better. Maybe it's strange, but I've always thought of his scent as being very comforting and soothing. The memory of his smell was something that helped keep him close to me.

Of course, I'd stay with DB even if his scent didn't turn me on because there's more to us than that, but it's definitely one of the things that I love about him.

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Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 10:42am

Welcome to the board, Sara, and thanks for joining in.

I knew someone once that was in a LDR. She would keep one of her BFs t-shirts on her pillow so she always had his scent near her. I can definitely understand how a scent would be comforting, perhaps this tidbit will help you if your BF gets deployed again.



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Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 11:18am

Your post proves my "theory".

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Registered: 08-19-2007
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 12:05pm
That's true - I met him through mutual friends, and we hung out a lot with them and by ourselves for almost a year before we started a dating relationship, and it wasn't until then that I noticed how much I liked the way he smelled. It certainly wasn't the thing that made me want to be with him.

And thank you for the welcome, misty_mae. I need to take up the suggestion and get a shirt from him or something. We're actually about to be separated for a couple of months - he's transferring out of state, and I'm going with him, but there are some loose ends I need to tie up first. It'd be nice to have something of his to cuddle with at night while we're apart. :)
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-Sara-

expecting our rainbow baby in December, 2013

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Registered: 10-30-2005
Wed, 02-27-2008 - 12:53pm

well, actually, i've read about studies have been done that show human women often prefer the scent of a man with a certain gene different than her own - a gene that, were it the same as her own, could keep an embryo from becoming viable in the womb. of course, this was in a lab setting, with women just evaluating t-shirts, and a lot more goes into the choice of a partner than that.


but, we still are animals, and not to change the topic, but all animals are quite highly evolved; we just evolve on different paths. we've been lucky enough to gain a lot of consciousness, to be able to learn and make choices, but it doesn't really mean we're so much more highly evolved than another creature. we still have flaws, and we share much with our fellow beings, human or not.


my bf's scent does happen to be very important to me, though i think i've had other boyfriends where it wasn't so important. i don't really smell most people, but when i am a certain distance from him, it just hits me, and it certainly has an effect. we work together, and if he stops by my desk, i catch a nice whiff and it just seems to linger in the air. it is a bit like an aphrodisiac. it is just part of the mysterious aura of him that has a peculiar and surprising way of overwhelming me and turning me into putty. i like to think it's a little part of the larger evolutionary forces at work on creation, but who knows? :)

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