i have a problem... please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
i have a problem... please help
10
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 1:14am
ok so i have been going out with my girlfriend for about 7 months and we recently started having sex. we were both virgins. i understand that it might hurt her for the first couple of times but she says it still really hurts when we first start and sometimes she will feel a little discomfort throughout intercourse. she says it doesnt hurt enough to be distracted except at the beginning.. i feel kinda bad because it doesnt hurt me yet i dont know what to do to make it not hurt for her anymore. i think theres plenty of foreplay and we use lube if there is some around but she says it still hurts quite a bit. is there anything else we could do so it doesnt hurt her anymore? i dont want to sound full of myself but could i be too big? any different positions or anything? any help would be appreciated... thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 7:51am

Welcome to the board, Jim.

If you're sure she's properly aroused and well lubricated, then her vagina should be able to open up to receive any size penis without pain. Some positions do cause the vagina to tilt in different directions or elongate a bit more, but that doesn't sound like it's the problem you are experiencing. If you're thick, then you may have to enter her a bit more slowly, giving her time to adjust a little at a time.

Pain can also be a sign that she has some medical issues. You might want to share the articles I listed below with her. If she thinks she's having any type of medical problem, she should see her gyn and let him/her know what's going on.

Sexual Pain
http://pain.health.ivillage.com/chestabdomenpelvicpain/sexualpain.cfm

Why is Sex Painful?
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,pscp,00.html

Painful Sex: Causes and Cures
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,3frw,00.html

Sex: What is Causing Discomfort During Intercourse?
http://health.ivillage.com/sexualhealth/sxarousal/0,,77m5,00.html





iVillage Member
Registered: 08-28-1998
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 11:31am
Try using a lubricant like Astroglide.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 1:56pm

I read someone's suggestion about using Astroglide, and then I realized what you'd said about using lubricants.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 2:22pm
i meant if were not out of it lol .. :) if it is that we just havnt given it time to heal how long should we wait for it to heal?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2008
Mon, 03-10-2008 - 2:44pm

Can you elaborate on what is hurting her?

RSG-Diva.jpg RSG-Diva picture by not_dead_yet_2007

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 9:13pm
it not hitting her cerivcx because she lovesi t when i go in really deep. how long should we wait if it is just being stretched? she thinks thats what it is
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 10:14pm
Jim, if she's sore or torn, you should wait until she is healed or not feeling sore.




iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2008
Wed, 03-12-2008 - 11:58pm
well she says that it only hurts at the beginning and apparently if i go in wrong it kinda hurts. she says that afterwards its a little tender for a while but she says it doesnt hurt while were actually having intercourse. if it is torn how do we tell and how long should we wait?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 1:54am

have you tried woman on top positioning...that way she controls penetration...also might want to try slipping in a few fingers at first...see if that hurts at all.

Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Thu, 03-13-2008 - 7:54am

There is no time frame that is set for people .... she needs to listen to HER body. If she hurts, then she shouldn't be engaging. If it's a tear, she'll most likely feel burning/stinging when she urinates too.

She's really the only person who can determine if she's healed and the pain is gone.