Let's Talk about Emotional Affairs

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Let's Talk about Emotional Affairs
3
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 8:04am
According to Dr. Gail Saltz, emotional affairs are just as damaging as physical affairs are. She says "An affair really has to do with secrecy, deception of the partner and therefore betrayal. It also has to do with the amount of emotional energy you put into the new person that you therefore are not giving to your partner."

In her words, these 4 things are a sign that you're having an emotional affair:





  1. You keep meetings and conversations secret from your partner.

  2. You say and do things with another person you never would in front of your spouse.

  3. You make a point to arrange talk time with someone other than your partner.

  4. You share things with another person that you don’t with your partner.


You can read the entire article here.


Do you agree with what she's saying?


Do you ever think there's a chance that the secrecy occurs because a spouse/mate is too jealous? If so, do you also consider that an affair?


Do you think your spouse/mate should share all of their activities and thoughts with you?


Have you ever had any experiences that made you wonder if your spouse/mate was having an emotional affair?


What outlines an emotional affair for you?









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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2008
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 11:56am

Do you agree with what she's saying?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Fri, 08-15-2008 - 4:57pm

Do you agree with what she's saying?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2006
Tue, 08-19-2008 - 12:15pm

Do you agree with what she's saying? To some extent.


Do you ever think there's a chance that the secrecy occurs because a spouse/mate is too jealous? If so, do you also consider that an affair? Sometimes, yes - I have a friend who has had absolutely zero trust in any guy she's ever been with, and that has become a self-fulfilling prophecy with her because she suspects them of cheating so much that they eventually decide that if they're going to be blamed, they might as well actually cheat. I don't know. I don't think

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