too comfortable for sex?
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too comfortable for sex?
| Wed, 08-20-2008 - 12:12pm |
I need some advice...
I have a boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with. We joke around, tease each other, have similar interests, and overall it is such a comfortable and fun relationship.
The problem is that I just haven't been able to have sex with him because I am so nervous about it. We have done everything else, and everything feels good -he has skills in the bedroom.
its just that when it comes to sex, I'm not sure if I even want to do it with him, if I have a sex drive for him. And our relationship is so perfect now that I don't want to mess things up with bad sex. Maybe I am so comfortable with him that I don't see him as a sexual being, if you know what I mean. Usually it's easy to have sex with the random stranger -and enjoyable.
We've tried a few times but I always end up stopping it after a few thrusts. I just wish I could find out whats wrong with me and why I'm just terrified of having "bad sex" with him.
I have a boyfriend who I am absolutely in love with. We joke around, tease each other, have similar interests, and overall it is such a comfortable and fun relationship.
The problem is that I just haven't been able to have sex with him because I am so nervous about it. We have done everything else, and everything feels good -he has skills in the bedroom.
its just that when it comes to sex, I'm not sure if I even want to do it with him, if I have a sex drive for him. And our relationship is so perfect now that I don't want to mess things up with bad sex. Maybe I am so comfortable with him that I don't see him as a sexual being, if you know what I mean. Usually it's easy to have sex with the random stranger -and enjoyable.
We've tried a few times but I always end up stopping it after a few thrusts. I just wish I could find out whats wrong with me and why I'm just terrified of having "bad sex" with him.

Welcome to the board, Strawberry.
Can't say why you're focusing on the event being bad, especially since you say that you have done sexual things that have felt great.
Have you tried to have a glass or two of wine, just so you can relax a bit more?
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I'm totally confused.
I have known my boyfriend since high school, when he was the class clown and not someone who I would consider being attracted to in a romantic way. Within the past few months we got to know each other well and formed a relationship mostly based on laughs, having fun...not on sexually related activities, although that does occur as well but not every day. We're comfortable as could be and honest with each other, which is why I would probably be called out for doing something during sex like faking orgasm (not my thing but an example), or panting too hard when having sex.
Maybe the biggest problem is that I haven't shown him that I desire him enough, because for quite a while I didn't think that a sexual relationship with him would work -we were such good friends.
Maybe for me, one of the things that is exciting about sex with a stranger is knowing that you desire them and they desire you, so the sex is bound to be somewhat passionate because you are both getting what you want.
Maybe what is missing from our relationship is that desire on both our parts -and I don't see that as a problem because I think I can work on that by showing that I want him in little ways. Wearing sexy undies and perfume...learning a few tricks and being more aggressive in bed will show him that I want him and turn him on, causing him in turn to want me more and to want to please me in bed as well. Little by little, our sexual desire for each other will grow, I just need to be the one to get the ball rolling.
I have a plan now, thanks everyone again!
Click a Blinkie!
Oral Sex ~ Bridesmaids
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Abortion and your thoughts