I need sex to feel loved and connected

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
I need sex to feel loved and connected
8
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 5:54pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 6:01pm
welcome. You need to keep in mind some men do not know this however. When your pregnant some men feel they might "hurt" the baby. Or feel awkward having sex while your with child. Have you talked with him about his feelings? Outside the bedroom? talking outside the bedroom you and he can talk more freely about thoughts and what to expect. Good luck.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
Thu, 09-04-2008 - 6:11pm
Thanks for your reply.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-14-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 12:32am
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 7:40am

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 7:47am

What it sounds like is the two of you have different levels of libido and different sexual likes.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:24am

I'm glad that you felt you could vent about your situation. Sometimes, getting things off of your chest is exactly what the doctor ordered.

In life, we have to teach people how to treat us, and I think in your situation, unless you find a way to communicate with him effectively, you're going to remain dissatisfied. Wanting him to do all of these things without being willing to initiate some of them yourself, or at least have a calm and rational conversation with him about what you would like, is like asking him to read your mind. It's just not going to happen.

I know that you're frustrated, it definitely shows through in your post. I'm just not willing to say that it's all his fault. He can't have sex without foreplay if you don't let him. He can't reject you if you never give him the opportunity. He can't know that you want to have sex with him when you're laying on the other side of the bed feeling hurt that he didn't initiate something. He may lack creativity, but that doesn't mean he always will.

I know you posted before about this situation. Have you checked out any of the references from this post:

http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlletstalkab/?msg=21771.3

Have you tried any of the things that were suggested there? Things will not change over night, but if you want them to change at all, you're going to have to be willing to do your part of the change too. Start with small steps, and outside of the bedroom. Ask him to plan a weekly date night, and on those nights, you take the reins. During the times that he does initiate, be an active participant. Show him what you have to offer .... and make him crave it.





iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:44am

You need to stop blaming HIM for YOUR insecurities.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2007
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 6:32pm

Hey!


Just wondering how everything went with the baby and how you did with your partner? I totally empathize with your situation as I've had the exact same problem...especially while pregnant. Actually I was 42 weeks pregnant and the doctor told us to have sex to speed things up and he couldn't even do it then!!! I ended up having a c-section because the baby just didnt want to come out and "he" din't want to help!!! :)


Is it worth leaving a great guy over this?