quickies

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-20-2008
quickies
7
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 12:07am
I am 41 yrs old. I am enrolled at a local university full time, working on my second
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-26-2006
In reply to: hellophoebe
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 12:18am
I'm sorry, I don't have any advice about maximizing the quickie but I am in the same position as you. I have 2 kids that are 15 months apart and it has taken a very real and serious toll on our sex life. I came from a sales atmosphere where sexual innuendo accounted for 90% of my daily interaction with other people so it has been HARD to go to this lifestyle. I'm trying to find a way to be a sexual being but it's just hard. My husband also owns his own business and the amount of time and effort that he expends on that really takes away from what we used to have in the beginning of our relationship. I'm sorry you're facing these difficulties mama :(

 

 

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2008
In reply to: hellophoebe
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 3:42am

I have a 10 a 6 and a 2 yr old.

Photobucket

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
In reply to: hellophoebe
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 9:50am

Welcome to the board, Phoebe.

Is there a mom's group in the area you can join? Often, that's a great way to network with other parents. Not only for the "fun" factor that you can have enjoying an evening with another couple while your kids all play together, but also because often they have a babysitting co-op.

You can also look into local high schools and churches for babysitter contacts. Both often have lists of teens available who can help you out with this.

Is the 4 year old in any sort of pre-school program? If not, check with the local school and see if there is a Head Start program there. Take the opportunity to have some alone time for you -- or for both of you at least once a week.

As Laura said, use your time outside of the bedroom as time for foreplay. Foreplay doesn't have to be sexual contact just before sex .... you can always have an underlying focus on each other.

Also, if you could each have some time off from the kids, that might be helpful. Try to pick an evening each week for you and one for him. During those evenings, the other partner does the dishes, gets the kids into bed, etc. The partner who has the evening off can do things to focus on renewing their energy. Whether it's shopping, getting a haircut, buying sexy lingerie, having a bubble bath or just reading a book. If the goal is to have better sex, then use that time putting your energy into things that will help you meet your goal.





iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
In reply to: hellophoebe
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 3:22pm
Are you kids on a bedtime schedule?
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-25-2006
In reply to: hellophoebe
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 9:08am

does anyone have a suggestion











iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
In reply to: hellophoebe
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 8:32am
Hi, I agree with a PP about an early enough bedtime for the kids. My DH and I have an amazing sex life and we have 5 children, the oldest being 10 and the youngest under a year. We are able to have tons of foreplay (from toys, whipped cream, to oral) as well as long lasting sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2007
In reply to: hellophoebe
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 11:39pm

I have to agree. Your kids are young enough that 8:00 is a good bed time for them (7:30 if you really want to push your luck) that way they get plenty of sleep (especially if you find yourself getting them up between 6 & 7).


Get the babies to bed early so you can have the time to relax for the two of you. I love Laura's idea of the text messages (I wish my h knew how to text! Company phone though).


Maybe get a sitter and go shopping with him. A nice walk around the mall with a quick stop in Victoria's Secret is always nice. You don't have to buy anything but you can always try something on and ask his opinion...You just might end up taking the item home.


You have to take time for yourselves to be husband and wife once in a while.

Photobucket