Is this normal for guys to like?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Is this normal for guys to like?
11
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 12:13pm
Hi, I am new here. I was wondering if you could help me out. First to let you all know I am bi. My husband loves the idea of me being with another woman. I have only done it once. He really enjoyed hearing about it. I know he would love to watch some time. (It will be awhile before I'm ready again.) He also begged me to let him watch me with another man. I did it for him (well sort of. The other man had some issues. lol). I really did not want to do it but wanted to make DH happy.(Also same with the other woman. I only want/need DH) Anyways, is that normal for a guy to like sharing his wife? I would never in a million years share him.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 12:22pm

Hi Madly

I posted my first here today as well, on a similar topic!

I never wanted my wife to cheat but didn't have much choice and as time's gone on I've got used to it and started to enjoy the buzz of being cheated on! From what I've heard and read, this is not exactly normal but a lot less unusual than you'd think.

There's even a novel out by Howard Jacobson called "The Act of Love" which claims that deep down all men want their wives to sleep with other men!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 1:02pm
I'm not sure I'd go quite that far. It's not an uncommon male fantasy, but by no means is it every man's fantasy.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 1:37pm
Agreed. I think Howard Jacobson just says that to be provocative. Not that I've read the book yet!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 1:38pm
By the way Madly, there's a poll on this on the Taboos board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2006
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 1:59pm

Hi madly. Nice to meet you. Will you please fill in your profile so we can know something about you? Thanks.


That seems to be a fantasy for lots of men, not all. Nothing is "normal" when it comes to a relationship. It's only "normal" if it's something that you both want and enjoy. Why do you feel you need to do something you don't want to in order to please him?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 2:07pm

Welcome to the board, Madly.

I wouldn't say it's "normal" as in commonplace for a guy to want to share his wife. Normal as it refers to sexual relationships is really defined within each relationship, between consenting adults.

You say you only want to be with your DH. While I don't think it's wrong to try different things out for the benefit of a partner, I think you should only do the things that you are comfortable with. If it's not your thing to put on these shows for your DH, then you need to take that into consideration, and your DH should be understanding of your own views/feelings.





iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 8:20am
I really do not feel like I need to do it to please him. I just figured I would try it for him to see if I actually liked doing it. He has since asked me to do it again and I've told him no. He was fine with it. He is a great man. I was just wondering if it were common or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 8:22am
Thanks. :) He is understanding of it. I figured I would give it a try once to see if its something we both would enjoy. He knows I didn't and is fine with it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-10-1999
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 5:50pm

My husband likes to fantasize about me being with another woman. Sometimes I will make up stories about it to turn him on. Neither of us really want to have me try it out though. We're not sure how we'd feel about the reality and are happy enough with the fantasy.

I have seen posts about guys pushing their wives or girlfriends to be with somebody else before so I'm sure your husband isn't the only one. For some reason, I remember more posts about women being asked to be with other men, though my guess is there are probably more guys out there who'd be happy to see their wives with another woman. Maybe the guys just don't think the women will go for it, or maybe those posts don't just stand out as much to me. I don't really know how common it is either way though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2005
Wed, 09-24-2008 - 4:57am
We fantasize together while watching group sex DVD'S. We fantasize that we are part of the group. She likes to fantasize about watching me have sex with another woman. It makes us both so hot. But that is all it is-fantasies.

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