Telling him what I want...
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Telling him what I want...
| Mon, 10-06-2008 - 7:02pm |
My partner is constantly asking me to tell him what to do during sex. Being less experienced than him I get nervous. I have never tried to talk about what I want or what makes me feel good before. I don't even know where to start and he gets frustrated because he wants to know that he is pleasing me. Any suggestions or helpful advice?

Let him know that in your previous relationships you were not encouraged to talk in the way that he would like you to
Welcome to the board, Dani.
It can feel awkward getting used to dirty talk, but if you start small, it will become easier. Let him know how things feel when he's doing them, by telling him how they feel, or giving him simple instructions like "harder" or "softer". Also, when you notice that he likes something, or maybe you notice a change in his breathing pattern as he nears ejaculation, you can encourage him with some dirty talk. During those times, you can say something like "come on baby" or "you like that, don't you".
Here are several articles you might find helpful also:
The Do’s and Don’t of Dirty Talk (Tracey Cox walks you through the process)
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,traceycox_c0pnkb69,00.html
Talk Dirty To Me
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,drpatti_2zpq,00.html
Dirty Talk: Encouraging Erotic Discussion
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,drpatti_8xb,00.html
Bad Libs: The Good Girls’ Guide to Talking Dirty
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,9j7q,00.html
Have fun with it, and keep us posted on how it's going.
Happy at Home ~ Have Hotter Sex/Ask Laura Corn
If I might add my two cents, for what they are worth.
I find it an incredible turn on when the woman I am with can tell me just where, when, and how. The more explicit the better! Every woman's body is like a fine, and unique,
May you live for one hundred Autumns
May you be prosperous for one hundred Autumns
May you be healthy for one hundred Autmns
May you b
and he gets frustrated because he wants to know that he is pleasing me.