Telling him what I want...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
Telling him what I want...
5
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 7:02pm
My partner is constantly asking me to tell him what to do during sex. Being less experienced than him I get nervous. I have never tried to talk about what I want or what makes me feel good before. I don't even know where to start and he gets frustrated because he wants to know that he is pleasing me. Any suggestions or helpful advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 7:55pm

Let him know that in your previous relationships you were not encouraged to talk in the way that he would like you to

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Mon, 10-06-2008 - 8:51pm

Welcome to the board, Dani.

It can feel awkward getting used to dirty talk, but if you start small, it will become easier. Let him know how things feel when he's doing them, by telling him how they feel, or giving him simple instructions like "harder" or "softer". Also, when you notice that he likes something, or maybe you notice a change in his breathing pattern as he nears ejaculation, you can encourage him with some dirty talk. During those times, you can say something like "come on baby" or "you like that, don't you".

Here are several articles you might find helpful also:

The Do’s and Don’t of Dirty Talk (Tracey Cox walks you through the process)
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,traceycox_c0pnkb69,00.html

Talk Dirty To Me
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,drpatti_2zpq,00.html

Dirty Talk: Encouraging Erotic Discussion
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,drpatti_8xb,00.html

Bad Libs: The Good Girls’ Guide to Talking Dirty
http://love.ivillage.com/lnssex/sextaboos/0,,9j7q,00.html

Have fun with it, and keep us posted on how it's going.





iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 10:09am
Thank you for your help! Some of the links lead me to some good books I think I'll have to order.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2007
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 11:01am

If I might add my two cents, for what they are worth.


I find it an incredible turn on when the woman I am with can tell me just where, when, and how. The more explicit the better! Every woman's body is like a fine, and unique,

May you live for one hundred Autumns

May you be prosperous for one hundred Autumns

May you be healthy for one hundred Autmns

May you b

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2007
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 3:11pm

and he gets frustrated because he wants to know that he is pleasing me.

Good distraction frees us from emotional pain, bad distraction gives you a mouth full of whizz. ~~~ Guru Tugginmypudha