How do I talk to my gf/fiance about this

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
How do I talk to my gf/fiance about this
16
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 5:58pm

Okay I have been with this girl OFFICIALLY since 01/01/08. However, we used to go out on dates and mess around and talk for like 2 years before that. Anyways, she's pregnant now and I plan on proposin to her next year. She just turned 18 today and I turned 22 on Oct. 3. We love each other very much and we're ready to get married. I am just saving up to buy her a damn good engagement ring because I think my girl deserves finest things in life. I would do it now but I'm about to go to bootcamp for the marines and I want to do it when I come back so I can do it in my dress blues in this fancy restaurant. I have a scenario already planned out with some of the waiters that I know there. I also know manager so its all good. I trust my girl and we know each other very well. I know she would never be unfaithful to me and she knows I wouldn't to her either. I know she can wait for me, our relationship has been mostly long distance (she lives in Allentown, PA and I live in NY and NJ, I had a place in NJ n NY because of my "line of work" that I no longer take part of). I also used to live in Dominican Republic (we're both Dominicans) and she waited 5 months for me.


Anyways let me get to the point. I am a VERY self conscious person when it comes to sex. I have a high sex drive though so no one ever expects anything. I do not have the biggest penis, I'm about 5 1/2 inches sometimes 6 it depends on the situation I don't know why. I have excellent technique though, I know how to use what I have. I am VERY good at oral sex.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 6:02pm

PS Sorry for the double post but if I am not the best that she has had in bed I am willing to do whatever it takes to be the best whether it means phalloplasty surgery or using toys (I know after a few years we will need it anyways lol) anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 7:09pm

Based on your measurements - the medical community would say that you have the average penis in size.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 7:43pm
About the girl who said I was small no I did not ask her. The situation with that was that I had the impression that we were just "f*ck buddies" but apparently she had gotten too attached. Anyways I tried to let her off easy by
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 8:34pm
I do not think that you should have this conversation with her. Do NOT ask her to compare you to her past partners. That is asking for trouble for you and it will be a turn off for her as well. Insecurity is not attractive. You obviously have insecurities that you need to work on and it seems like they come from a previous woman. Forget about her. You are not small. Your gf does not want you to do anything about your size and she is obviously satisfied with your technique. If you are concerned about making things better, ask her if there is anything else you can do for her. It sounds like you've done that and she can't come up with anything, so you can give suggestions if necessary, but do not make it about her previous partners. She is with you now. Do not think about her past. Do not think about your past. Think only about making things the best they can be for the two of you now.
Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Tue, 10-07-2008 - 8:51pm

Okay, so sour grapes with the ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 12:14am

Only a very insecure man would ask his g/f to "rate" him!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-07-2008
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 2:11am

Hey, you guys are all right, and I really do appreciate your honesty. No, before that one girl's comment I never ever had an issue with the size of my penis. I never even thought that size had mattered before that, and that incident a little over a year ago. A year and a half, a little more actually. I was perfectly happy with my size before that. I decided not to ask her about her past partners and leave it at that. I'm with her now and thats all that matters. I really do appreciate everyone's input. I think the reason why I got so nervous was that I am planning on spending the rest of my life with this girl. Even though I'm confident in my love making skills I still get worried about whether or not she would rather be with someone else in bed, but I think its only because of how strong my feelings are for her. So I get nervous with this girl. I never ever felt like this or even had these feelings with any other girl. Not even the one who said my penis was "small". In fact, even though that one girl did hurt my ego I still felt like I had rocked her world in bed after all that. Strange enough is that although I think like this when I'm with her it only encourages me to put even more effort into the lovemaking, I do everything I do to the best and even more, its almost a motivational factor for me make sure that she loves me physically, sexually, and emotionally more than she has anyone else. Well, I know emotionally there is nothing wrong.


I know that she does want to marry me because we have talked about it. Its something we very much want. We wanted it before she had even got pregnant. I want to save up and buy her a nice ring so I can make her family feel stupid. I know that she shouldn't worry about what her family thinks but her family consists of whorish materialistic women. They don't care about how hard a man works, what he does for a living, all they care about is whether or not their man can buy them a nice car, pay their bills, and buy them expensive gifts and jewelry. I know she wouldn't care less if the ring was 10 dollars or 10,000 dollars. Her family hates me because I used to be a lowlife and I used to hustle. I don't mean to pour out my heart and soul here but I'm from a very bad neighborhood in brooklyn called brownsville so I grew up around that stuff. I have changed my life though and I'm proud in myself and my decision to join the Marines. Anyways, they think I'm just a lowlife and that I'm incapable of ever giving my girl a good life. I want to prove them wrong, not for my girl, but for me.




Edited 10/8/2008 2:22 am ET by johnny_usmc163
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 7:58am
Welcome to the board, Aisling. It's great to see you joining in!




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2008
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 8:02am

I just read through all the posts here and wanted to add something.


1. Kudos for working to improve yourself and your life. You are still young (aren't we all??) and we make mistakes. The correct answer is to learn and improve and grow with what you have experienced.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-12-2006
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 8:17am

Good for you Johnny!

Pages