It Starts Tomorrow...I recommitt..

Avatar for hmaki123
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
It Starts Tomorrow...I recommitt..
11
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 11:55am
I'm here to finally set aside the shame and recommitt myself. I haven't been following WW for an entire month! My lowest was 167.8 and then I got sick with my swollen lymph nodes and was put on steroids and antibiotics--I finally lost the water weight and was keeping it steady at 170 lbs. I weigh in today at---173! Eck :( I am no longer a few lbs from my 165 goal--I am now 8 lbs from my goal weight! I don't know what it is lately, but I have been incredibly depressed with my body image. Whenever i look in the mirror, all I see is a big fat blob. For whatever reason, this has really grown ever since I started teaching at my new job about a month ago. My teaching clothes are 1 size bigger than me because I got them from a family friend who is now bigger and had a lot of khakis and such--and since I have no khakis--i volunteered myself for the 16's and 1 size 14. I don't know if it's the bigger clothes or what--but I just feel blobby and I've let it lead into my eating. Because my eyes see myself as fat, I'm sending the messages to myself that "hey--you may as well just eat that way then.." so I've been snacking on some of the kids snacks when they come, having dessert 3-4 times a week instead of just once, and even purposefully eating bad! Who doess that? And just like old habits--I keep saying "tomorrow you'll be strict again so just enjoy yourself for today.." I can't control just having 1 cookie--it always turns into more and then the whole "I blew it--may as well just eat bad for the rest of the day!" Now, I know a 6 lb gain in over a month isn't incredibly bad, especially since I know a lot of it is water weight from some of the cocktails I've been having lately (lol), but just the idea of me gaining any weight is really irritating me. I will NOT get back to where I was, I will NOT leave the 170's even!
We move into our new apartment tomorrow and it luckily has a 24 hr fitness center, so I have already written out my workout routines (I've been doing 40 minutes of Tae-bo 3 times a week lately LOL--how terrible, I used to work out 6 times a week for almost an hour!) I am pumped about having my own place b/c Nathan eats ridiculously healthy so we have agreed to only keep really healthy, whole foods in our house. I refuse to gain anymore weight and I am excited and dedicated to lose the 6 lbs I have gained plus the 2 more to be at goal! On top of that, I want to lose 10 more personal lbs if I can. I am dedicated to doing this! My approach is going to be Core but I am going to keep points because I have a hard time with controlling portions.
I know I've been MIA a lot, but we're going to have our own high speed internet at our place so I am going to really try to committ myself to being around because I know this board has helped me out a ton!
Here's to an even smaller Heather and a Heather that finally reaches goal!
-Heather M. :)
242 (1st time)/229.8 (this time)/173/165 (goal)/155 (pg)
Total Lost: 69 lbs overall

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2005
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 1:42pm

Welcome back, Heather!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 5:17pm

Actually, considering that you were on steroids & had such a busy summer, I think you did amazingly well Heather!

Avatar for hmaki123
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 7:44pm
Thank you both Amy and Sarah! You two are always such great supporters of me! I just feel like this summer was a crazy whirl wind time and I can't wait until things settle again! It's so much easier for me when I have a normal routine for me to lose weight! I hope the water weight does come off fast and that things start moving in the right direction again! I am really ready for this! It seems like every time it's August-September I just get this huge boost to get back into the groove of things and get some weight off! At least this time it's not 75 lbs--it's just like 5 lbs then 5-10 more!
-Heather M.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2005
Sun, 08-06-2006 - 8:54pm
You'll do great!








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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2005
Mon, 08-07-2006 - 3:47pm

(((Heather)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-31-2005
Tue, 08-08-2006 - 6:21pm

Heather,


I know where you are coming from.

Summer Siggie

 

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2005
Wed, 08-09-2006 - 9:18am

Good to see you back...I was wondering where you were...You are always so helpful to all of us here...I have recently recommitted myself...We can do this Heather...My lowest was 159...Now I am at 179...My goal is 150...I was SO close...Now...Not so much..;) But, we can do this...You are a georgous girl...Have Nathan take some cute pics of you...Post them on here and let us brag on you...It will have you feeling great about yourself again in no time!! Don't be so hard on yourself...You are still very close...And have come such a long way...Pull out some old pics of yourself to remind you how far you have come!! Chin up!!

Sara
221/179/150




iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2003
Thu, 08-10-2006 - 12:16pm

Welcome back! You will be fine. Give yourself a break for gaining. You were sick and that is always bad.

It's awesome you have a 24 hr fitness facility - how lucky can you get! You will be back to your goal in no time.

Best regards
Linda

Avatar for hmaki123
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 1:41pm

Liz,

Thank goodness you're in the boat with me!! LOL! I've got life jackets, just in case :P I think that just being busy, seeing size -10 mom's drop their kids off, and having to wear too big of clothing is pulling at my spirit. I broke down yesterday and cried and told Nathan how much I've hated myself for the past 2 weeks! I don't know what is wrong with me--I'm just negative about my entire being! It all started on my bday--the 28th--when I turned 21. I felt guilty for enjoying ice cream cake and guilty for drinking. I beat myself up over all of it and then just continued to hate myself. I'm eating 98% healthy, it's the little things that I just beat myself up over. Plus, now that I can buy alcohol, I find myself ordering a drink once a week or having some wine. I didn't do that before b/c alcohol always packed on loads of water weight for me--I am like a sponge when it comes to alcohol. I did okay this week but then Nathan took me out last night to a really good restaurant and ordered fried mushrooms and I got some wine :( Ugh. 98% of the time he eats healthy, and then he'll indulge and completely convince me to indulge too. Today I felt like I looked okay--none of my clothing is tight or anything--and Nathan goes "you look really thin today" So am i just seeing myself through fat goggles? LOL. So I'm going to go back to what I did when I started school last year--I'm going to focus on Core foods. I did that for most of this week but then blew it last night. I refuse to just keep gaining any way. It was only 6 lbs and it will be only 6 lbs and I know at least 3 of the 6 is water weight! SO--here is my contract! I, Heather M, promise to follow my WW way of life focusing on a Core approach dealing with healthy, complex carbs, lean proteins, lots of 0 pt veggies, and all of the goodies Nature intended! I fully commit to this amazing contract on August 13, 2006 and the contract is binding FOREVER! I WILL make sure my total weight loss goes from 75 to 85 lbs gone instead!! Liz--lets do this together girl! I am more than here for you and I know you're here for me! We're in the apartment and now just unpacking/decorating so I know I can use the internet more. Lets do our own little challenge where we try to stay OP each day, one day at a time, and maybe email each other once a day if we have time? Just for extra support? I totally love ya for always being here for me and I miss you oodles girl!
*HUGS*
We're gonna kick some more weight loss butt!!!!
-Heather M. :)
Grr to being 8 lbs from my goal weight!

Avatar for hmaki123
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Sat, 08-12-2006 - 1:49pm
*HUGS* you're too good to me girl! I am glad I have another couple of friends in the boat with me! I've got life jackets and low pt snacks for us all! LOL! You're not too far away either, 29 lbs will come melting off of you--I promise! I know that weight, for women, can change so much on a daily basis--so to freak out over 6 extra lbs can seem dumb, but i know if I let it go at 6 lbs..it'll turn into 10..then 15..then 20..etc. Then I'll be the old me all over again! I am here for you and I always know you're here for me. Lets do this girl! Lets get closer to goal, reach it, then be great at maintaining! I am in this for life so you always have me! I promise to stop by more often--every night this week when I got off of work at 6pm I had to move stuff into our new place until 12am..so I haven't even had time to workout this week, let alone sit down and relax. LOL! I am fully committed this week to working out, eating right, and being good to myself b/c this negative-self-hating-attitude needs to stop. I have no right to be so mean to myself. The moms who drop off their kids in huge heels and are size -10's just keep raining on my parade and I need to realize that most women do not look like that and that I need to stop beating myself up over that. I have boobs--they don't LOL! Anyways--thanks girl :) Chin up yourself, b/c you're a huge success and have every right to being positive and getting to goal too! We'll do this together girl!
-Heather M. :)

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