Here I Am..

Avatar for hmaki123
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
Here I Am..
12
Tue, 08-07-2007 - 10:42pm

I am back--some of you probably remember me--some of you probably have no clue who I am. I've been doing WW for 2-1/2 years now and went from being at a high of 250 lbs down to the lowest of 167 lbs..2 lbs away from goal for my 5'8" frame. After plateauing for a year and getting discouraged, along with some health issues (hospitalized for my asthma, put on oral steroids, etc) and personal/family issues (called off my engagement, parents are getting divorced, mom went through breast cancer scare) I sought emotional eating as my way out and began to gain some of the weight back. Now I'm sitting in the 180's--which seems to be the weight my body has always loved but i always hate. I was exercising intensely for a couple of weeks then I'd stop for a couple, repeat..never a good idea and I was also finding myself binge eating again with a few bulimia issues (I've suffered from bulimia nervosa since I was 16). My clothes still fit--the capris that used to fit me very comfortably are now snug--they are a pair of jean capris that I vow to have fit loosely on me again! I feel like i look like a blob although everyone reassures me that I don't--I even got to look at the pix from my recent 22 bday (July 28th) and I looked average and healthy--so I think I have a lot of mental issues to deal with in terms of my body image. I've promised to do a half marathon with my aunt who had inspired me to originally join WW back when I was 14--she was bigger and shaped like me and ended up to goal and has now put on all of the weight--but she's healthy still through training for triathlons, etc. The half marathon is September 30th and I started my training a few weeks ago--we're doing a run/walk..so every other day I've been doing a certain number of miles depending on my training schedule and the days inbetween I do either circuit training (stairmaster, bike, etc) or it's a day off. I'm hoping this inspires me to lose the weight I put on and then some--but I know I have to get a grip on my eating! I find myself either snacking all of the time or choosing foods that I know are higher in points and obviously going over my points (which I haven't tracked in such a long time!)

So I'm back--committed. I'm starting tomorrow--but I plan on making my WI's Fridays probably. I borrowed a bunch of my mom's WW things (new journals, recipes, etc) because she has a ton of WW stuff and reached her goal and went beyond it a while back (went from 145 to 122 now..she's doing awesome on it! she's 5'3"). I've decided I'm going to dedicate myself to tracking points and planning things out--having my points written down before I eat them and finding ways to plan for it all. I've been drinking frequently lately because of my birthday and going out--so I'm going to cut way back on that too! I am going to work on eating healthy, tracking points, continuing my workouts, upping my water, downing my alcohol consumption--and with all of these key changes--I should see myself moving down on the scale again !

On a side note--my parents house sold in 4 days--that was really hard on me--I found myself balling my eyes out into the arms of the guy I've been dating lately--he handled it really well luckily. They will be out by the end of September--their divorce should be finalized soon as well. I've been dating a guy who is nothing short of amazing (as he calls me lol) and he really just makes me laugh and smile so much. Unfortunately--his brother went canoing Sunday on the Kansas River with 3 other buddies and their canoes flipped--his brother and his canoing partner both ended up drowning in the river and his brother's body was just found today, he was a husband, father, and teacher. Aside from the passing of his brother, his grandpa who has been suffering from renal failure passed away last night as well. He's in Kansas to deal with the recent deaths so this has been very hard on him and I feel completely awful over it all. This definitely made me realize how short life is (his brother was only 30) and made me want to lose my last 20-30 lbs (I may redo my goal weight to be in the 150's..not sure) and be even healthier than before. I also take the MCATs Aug. 20th (not prepared at all for them with everything that has gone down this summer!) so I want to have a clear, refreshed mind that goes along with healthy eating!

So here I am. I missed you all--life is ridiculous but I aim on getting it all together.
-Heather M.

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Avatar for debbie_gwb
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: hmaki123
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 8:42am

Hi Heather, welcome back, I was wondering how you were doing. I think we both are in that 2 1/2 year slump. I also am back up in the 180's and I hate it. but I am not giving up, I continue to go to WW and will keep on trying. Heaven help me if I would quit as I know I would gain it all back. I mean look how much I gained while going to WW...sometimes I get so mad at myself, but we are only human and will go on from here.

So sorry to hear what happened to your boyfriends brother and grandpa. I hope you are there for him as he will need alot of comfort. It sounds like he is there for you with your issues, so time to help him out. Good luck to you Heather and welcome back.

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Eli and Gamma
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2006
In reply to: hmaki123
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 8:46am

Hi, Heather.

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Avatar for britches0323
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2004
In reply to: hmaki123
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 9:34am
Welcome back Heather!!

 

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Avatar for susiep00
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: hmaki123
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 10:22am
Welcome back Heather!! You certainly have a lot going on!!!!
New Sig
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2007
In reply to: hmaki123
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 11:03am

Glad to see you are back. I hope your life relaxes soon for you. Sounds like a summer of pure hell. Fresh starts go a long way, good luck getting back on track, I wish you the best!!

~Amber~
220/158.2/145-10%

~Amber~

Loving Army Wife to

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2003
In reply to: hmaki123
Wed, 08-08-2007 - 12:48pm

Hi Heather, I've been around this board since January and I remember you... glad to see you back! Glad to see you've picked yourself up and dusted yourself off. I look forward to hearing about your success!

Christie.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2004
In reply to: hmaki123
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 8:09am

Welcome back Heather! Lots of good thoughts for your boyfriend and hope he can cope with his recent family losses. Not a pleasant time for you both.

Hang in there and start boning up for your MCAT's. Post often and keep us up to date.

Hugs.

Joan

Avatar for hmaki123
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: hmaki123
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 1:17pm

Thank you everyone SO much for you warm welcome :) I am definitely sticking in there--been tracking my points well both yesterday and today! I'm finally thinking of foods and meals in terms of points again and if it's going to take me over my points I won't eat it--so that's been a positive change I've seen! Jeff's favorite band (also the fav band of his deceased brother) is Jimmy Buffett so I was looking on ebay last night and came across some Buffett concert tickets for Sept 8th--which is perfect because his bday is Sept 11th--so I got the tickets and told him about it so I could make sure he's okay to go--he was SO excited--it's one of the first times I've heard him happy since before all of this! We're going to fly out there (Columbus has something called SkyBus which has a few headquarters in the US and one is in MA which is where the concert is) the Friday before then rent a car to drive the 45 min difference and stay until Monday! I am really excited--he asked me if I had ever been to a Buffett concert and I said no--I just knew he loved Jimmy Buffett and he couldn't believe I remembered that, etc. SO this concert is a mini-goal in my track of things! I'm using it as inspiration to lose at least 5 lbs now then--that's a month...hopefully I can pull that off if I keep up my 1/2-marathon training and stick to my points and my guns!

Cross your fingers :) I AM determined!

On a side note--because my scholarship allows me to take up to 2 yrs off during my schooling (8 yrs of schooling within a 10 yr period) I've decided to postpone the MCATs until next summer after graduation and take a year off inbetween undergrad and med school. I want to go into things full force and not less than half--so that was a huge part in my decision. Luckily I've had a few people reach out to me and explain that they have decided to do the same thing between undergrad and dental school, grad school, med school, and law school.

-Heather M.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-23-2005
In reply to: hmaki123
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 2:13pm

Wow Heather welcome back!



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Avatar for hmaki123
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2004
In reply to: hmaki123
Thu, 08-09-2007 - 11:01pm

YAYAYAYAYAYAYA we're restarting together :) I like the way that sounds girlie!!!!!! I'm trying to keep my mood and attitude as positive as possible so hopefully it'll stay! I feel so great now that I have a buddy in this :) We're restarting at the same time, we have similar goals, we're both doing mini marathons!!! I love it! You must be heaven sent girl!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!!! I want to see us succeed so bad and I know it'll help me mentally to know someone else is out there on the same road in the path that we're on! Yay :)

We're going to be some hot skinny girls!!!! World better watch out! We've got one brunette and one blonde and two pretty kick butt women!!! :)
-Heather M. :)

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