Here I Am..
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 08-07-2007 - 10:42pm |
I am back--some of you probably remember me--some of you probably have no clue who I am. I've been doing WW for 2-1/2 years now and went from being at a high of 250 lbs down to the lowest of 167 lbs..2 lbs away from goal for my 5'8" frame. After plateauing for a year and getting discouraged, along with some health issues (hospitalized for my asthma, put on oral steroids, etc) and personal/family issues (called off my engagement, parents are getting divorced, mom went through breast cancer scare) I sought emotional eating as my way out and began to gain some of the weight back. Now I'm sitting in the 180's--which seems to be the weight my body has always loved but i always hate. I was exercising intensely for a couple of weeks then I'd stop for a couple, repeat..never a good idea and I was also finding myself binge eating again with a few bulimia issues (I've suffered from bulimia nervosa since I was 16). My clothes still fit--the capris that used to fit me very comfortably are now snug--they are a pair of jean capris that I vow to have fit loosely on me again! I feel like i look like a blob although everyone reassures me that I don't--I even got to look at the pix from my recent 22 bday (July 28th) and I looked average and healthy--so I think I have a lot of mental issues to deal with in terms of my body image. I've promised to do a half marathon with my aunt who had inspired me to originally join WW back when I was 14--she was bigger and shaped like me and ended up to goal and has now put on all of the weight--but she's healthy still through training for triathlons, etc. The half marathon is September 30th and I started my training a few weeks ago--we're doing a run/walk..so every other day I've been doing a certain number of miles depending on my training schedule and the days inbetween I do either circuit training (stairmaster, bike, etc) or it's a day off. I'm hoping this inspires me to lose the weight I put on and then some--but I know I have to get a grip on my eating! I find myself either snacking all of the time or choosing foods that I know are higher in points and obviously going over my points (which I haven't tracked in such a long time!)
So I'm back--committed. I'm starting tomorrow--but I plan on making my WI's Fridays probably. I borrowed a bunch of my mom's WW things (new journals, recipes, etc) because she has a ton of WW stuff and reached her goal and went beyond it a while back (went from 145 to 122 now..she's doing awesome on it! she's 5'3"). I've decided I'm going to dedicate myself to tracking points and planning things out--having my points written down before I eat them and finding ways to plan for it all. I've been drinking frequently lately because of my birthday and going out--so I'm going to cut way back on that too! I am going to work on eating healthy, tracking points, continuing my workouts, upping my water, downing my alcohol consumption--and with all of these key changes--I should see myself moving down on the scale again !
On a side note--my parents house sold in 4 days--that was really hard on me--I found myself balling my eyes out into the arms of the guy I've been dating lately--he handled it really well luckily. They will be out by the end of September--their divorce should be finalized soon as well. I've been dating a guy who is nothing short of amazing (as he calls me lol) and he really just makes me laugh and smile so much. Unfortunately--his brother went canoing Sunday on the Kansas River with 3 other buddies and their canoes flipped--his brother and his canoing partner both ended up drowning in the river and his brother's body was just found today, he was a husband, father, and teacher. Aside from the passing of his brother, his grandpa who has been suffering from renal failure passed away last night as well. He's in Kansas to deal with the recent deaths so this has been very hard on him and I feel completely awful over it all. This definitely made me realize how short life is (his brother was only 30) and made me want to lose my last 20-30 lbs (I may redo my goal weight to be in the 150's..not sure) and be even healthier than before. I also take the MCATs Aug. 20th (not prepared at all for them with everything that has gone down this summer!) so I want to have a clear, refreshed mind that goes along with healthy eating!
So here I am. I missed you all--life is ridiculous but I aim on getting it all together.
-Heather M.

Pages
I am so, so glad to see you back Heather!
 
Pages