BABY MAMA LOVE

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-08-2004
BABY MAMA LOVE
3
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 7:57am
So ,I met this guy like eight months ago we had some trouble getting started (Both of us stayed Busy) so we finally got together and really started talking in february. He work's 14 hours a day during the week and even on saturday, so I can understand that when he's off he spends time with his son on the weekend. So to get to the point , Yesterday we were talking on the phone and I asked how his Easter was, he told me that he went to church with his child and baby mama , sister her boyfriend and children . I was kind of shock becuase I thought him and his baby mama didn't like each other. I told some friends and they said I should watch out, but some said if he told me maybe it's nothing , they do have a child together. I was thinking about asking him what our situation is and if there is something still between them . What do you all think?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
In reply to: lyric8214
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 8:22am

Hello and Welcome,

I couldn't even begin to think how it feels to be in that situation with dating a man that has a child. Because I have never dated a man that has a kid. But I do have a 7yr old daughter and her dad and I are very close. We have been broke up for 5 yrs but we were together for 3 yrs. Even though we have been broken up for 5yrs we still see each other every day because of the child, and him and I have a special bond. His mother and I are very close ( she raised me since I was 15) and me and his mom are best friends. We hang out every day, The problem that I have run into is that my daughter's dad has not been in a relationship since me. He has his share of the wham bam thankyou mam's , he's now one of the player types now. And I have seen the games that he plays with these girls and sometimes I feel sorry for these girls but then sometimes I don't. Because he's thrown them so many red flags that they just don't pay attention to them.

I am not the baby momma that brings drama, our relationship is very drama free. But him and I have still been sexually intimante on and off through out the past 5 yrs. Up until recently I won't have sex with him nomore because I don't think it's fare to me or to any other girl he is trying to get in bed with. Why am I telling you this?

Because not every relationships with the baby momma are the same, but some are and when you date a man with a child and the mother and the father are still really close you have to be cautious. I am the type of mother that let's my daughters dad take her anytime he wants alone to where have of the time I don't want to be with them but he talks me into it and I go.

But like I said not every relationship is the same as mine but these kind of relationships are still out there. So be careful and I wish you the best of luck and hope that this relationship does work out for you.

hugs

-Michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: lyric8214
Wed, 03-30-2005 - 8:55am
I agree with Michelle, I have dated guys with children and all had different relationships with their childrens mom. I have a different relationship with my sons father. Has he mentioned the relationship of his childs mom before? When he first told you about having a child did he say something bad about that relationship? Usually when someone has a bad relationship with thier kids other parent that comes out right then and there. But, if they are ok with each other I have noticed guys just mention they have a child at such and such age, and when they see them. I would be careful and see where he is with his childs mom but it is not that alarming because it was Easter and it was Church and he did tell you about it.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2004
In reply to: lyric8214
Fri, 04-01-2005 - 2:39pm
bump.....