Older Men....Does it ever work?
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| Wed, 03-30-2005 - 12:54pm |
Dear Ivillager's,
I have a strong crush on a man who's 25 year's older than me! He's in his late 40's and I am in my early 20's. There are so much things in common between us-- inregardless to the age differences, we share the same goals and values, we work in the same field, and thus we do projects together and walk on the same path! In fact, we shared the same dreams before we even met, and after we met, we discovered we were both walking on the same exact line! I simply love him! For who he is, what he does, and for I enjoy spending time with him. I became a part of his life, and he became a part of mine that I beleive will never leave! But then, I get truly concerned about the age differences and I worry about what will tomorrow bring, and if things will work out fine? & Whether he'd rather to have a relationship or not? Knowing that he's been divorced since years, and became a workholic! + he lives 3 hours away, so we mostly talk on the phone or contact by e-mails
I despeadly need your advice...anyone?
Thank you!
MacroVillage

I guess my only thought is..............
Do you want the same things out of life....for your future? What about children? His retirement? In 15 years, what if he wants to retire and travel aroudn the world? What about you? Will you be able to go with him, if you're working? Do you want children? Does he have children do you?
Don't answer them, but those are things to think about. I think it CAN work, if two ppl want the same thing, are ready for the changes, and understand how those changes CAN and WILL affect the 'rhsip......
You just need to cover EVERY aspect of what you want/expect/need. And ditto for him. Will you be okay at 40, when he's 60? What about when you retire at around 60 and he's 80? I'm not saying it won't work, just be real about things.
Also, maybe now isn't the time to ask him about all that, but eventually, if you two get seroius, to the point of marriage, you will have to.
I've seen it work for one couple that I knew...but it really seemed to me to be more of a great business arrangement/empire than a deep relationship.
I married a man 19 years older than me.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?