What do you guys think..
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What do you guys think..
| Thu, 03-31-2005 - 1:07am |
Hi everyone one.. it is my first time posting on this board, so I'll introduce myself. I'm Christine, will be 20 in 3 weeks and my bf, Mike.. 26, will be 27 this summer. We've been together for 5months now. He is currently living with his parents, he has lived there for the past 3yrs to get his life back on track and he'll be moving out for sure this summer.. and he asked me to move in with him and I said yes, I did keep the option of changing my mind untill then.
I know to a lot of people it would be too early, but to me it's pretty relative to each person... my parents got married after only 6months.. and still happy together after 4kids and 25yrs of marriage..
Anyways.. it's not really a problem.. maybe I am just being a bit paranoid.. I know I am sure about moving with him and I Know I want to! but sometimes I am not sure he feels so sure about it... I have talked to him about it and he told me he never is actually 100% certain of his decisons. He has told me it is what he wants, and he just seems distant sometimes because he is stressed out lately. And we dont see each other all that much lately.. and it's pretty hard on me and on him ... but he tells its only temporary and we'll be really together soon. he says it's a bad for a good in the end... I guess he is right!
I have been told many things that were never meant in past relationships, so it's hard to actually believe it when this happens to me now! I am just wondering a little ifhe does really mean what he's saing to me. We do have good communication, I could never really talk about my feelings or my thoughts to anyone before, but with him it's different. He is really great, and my familly all like him, even my father!!! that's a first.. even my grand-parents like him!
Maybe I am just paranoid!? and I shouldn't get myself so nuts over this..
what do you think.. I dont know if I made any sense but anyways thanks for reading if you did get this far!!

You know, I'm beginning to realize something........at that age, I would've done whatever I wanted, and I did. I got burned a lot,and that's why I suggest people THINK about what moving in means, versus just doing it cuz they're "oooooohhhhh soooooo iiiiinnnnn llllooooooooovvveeeeee" y'know.
My advice to you. You said you had the option of backing out, well, make sure you REALIZE that optino and KEEP it open. Don't be afraid to back out if things aren't feeling right.....especially because it's harder AFTER the fact. Case in point, do you know
Hi hushpuppy and welcome to IIMTB.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
Thank you for the input! It made me think back to the conversations I had with my bf in the past few weeks.. We have talked about the moving in and what it means and why we want to do it! I have asked him if he wanted it and why, he had told me he wanted to be able to really be with me. We would both be able to have our own space when we need it, but we could be really together when we want to! It is a step foward in our relationship, and he has told me that he really wants it to work! I also want it to work.
We did have a discussion on why he is so stressed out and seems distant right now. He has told me why, he's having a bit of financial problems.. nothing crucial, just that there's isn't that much work at his job so he isn't doing all his 40hrs a week like he is suppose to, but it is not out of choice there's is just not enough work to do, so his pay checks are smaller. so that's one thing.. there is also that he actually HAS to move out of his parent's this summer... and his step father is kind of pressuring it a bit, he mom isn't pressuring at all though. He is also in a bit of a down moment.. and he feels restrained at his parents.. and there isn't much to do when I am not with him. He told me he's spending too much time on his computer (playing a game) and it was bothering him..
He said he was sorry about how he is acting right now and I do believe he means it. He told me a lot of people left because of how he is and who he is.. but I am still here, and it told me he was really thankfull for the fact that I accept him the way he is and he hopes I do stay with him and that it works between us.
As for the backing out option, I do keep it open! I have learned from a past relationship tht if things dont feel right you aren't happy: DONT STAY!!! because It will end up hurting so much more in the end! I learned it at my own expense! So if I dont feel it and I'm not happy, I won't stick around!
I am paranoid somtimes about it, but after thinking about it.. at the bottom of my heart I feel it is right and I want to do it! For me.. not for anyone else! I am very happy with this man, never been so happy with someone! And for the first time ever, I can actully talk things out instead of keeping everything inside!
Anyways sorry for the length! I appreciate the input.. I will keep all my options open and try to be strong and not get paranoid over every little thing!
Thanks a lot ! xxx
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?