Help-I do not know what to do

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2005
Help-I do not know what to do
3
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 9:00pm
I have this boyfriend of 2.5 yrs. When I first went out with him I was attracted to him, but now Im not. this has been for awhile. I lied to myself telling myself I did find my boyfriend attractive.i use to feel guilty for even looking at other guys so I wouldnt. So I thought for awhile something was wrong with me because I did not find anyone attractive. but about a week ago my boyfriend pissed me off so bad that I did not feel guilty looking at other guys. Now I find many other guys-including my boyfriends best friend-attractive but not my boyfriend.
Meanwhile every so often my boyfriend looses his temper. he never hits me. Lately I have been wondering, should I leave my boyfriend? Im afriad to for three reasons 1-im afraid to break his heart and 2-I still love him and 3-I dont really have friends and Im afraid to be alone.
Meanwhile I sort of like my bf's best friend...I do not think I could be with him long term, but I am only 20yrs old and part of me just wants to be single and see where life takes me.
Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2003
Sun, 04-03-2005 - 9:41pm
Ok, first thing, never stay in a relationship because you are afraid to be by yourself. You are young and will be attracted to a lot of different guys before you find "the one", so do yourself the favour and get out of a relationship that you are unhappy with. You already have it in your mind that you want out and I know you are afraid to hurt your BF, but you'll hurt him a whole lot worse if you continue to make him believe there is a future for the two of you. You can love someone, but not be in love with them, and that's what this sounds like. As for the BF's friend, I wouldn't attempt that connection because if you really do care for the one you are with, that's just a slap in the face when you go after his friends. Try being single for a while and get out there and make some friends. It will help you with your fear of being lonely and it will also let you experience life. Figure out who you are before you can let someone new into the picture. I hope it all goes okay and just remember to listen to your heart. If you are meant to be with your current guy, something will work out.
Avatar for ddnlj
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 9:09am

Don't stay with someone you aren't attacted to. That's being dishonest with yourself and with your BF. You're hurting him more by lying about how you feel about him.

He may be upset if you break up with him but he'll get over it. Go out and make new friends. But one word of advice - leave his best friend alone. You can end your own relationship, but don't destroy a friendship along with it.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 10:38am

Hello and welcome to the board... and my advice would be to, don't be afraid to be on your own.


Staying with someone for the sake of not being alone, is a wrong reason.

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?