Age differences....opinions??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Age differences....opinions??
6
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 7:57am

I'm almost 27, and just started dating a guy that's 23. All of my ex's have been older than me, so this is a new experience. Looking at us, you could never tell we're 4 yrs apart. But so far, he's absolutely wonderful. Very caring and affectionate - he treats me like gold. He has a lot going for him, great job, etc. The only time I really notice an age difference is in our conversations. Our intellectual levels are slightly different, but not noticeable enough to where it bothers me.

Anyway, I know it's more accepted/common for a girl to be with an older guy, so I was just curious what people typically think of a woman dating a younger guy. And if anyone here is in a similar situaion, what would you say are the pros and cons of dating someone younger versus older?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 8:44am
Well, I have dated guys who were younger then me. Typically it made me feel younger, being a single mom you mature so fast plus being divorced by 23. But, dating younger was fun but I couldn't settle down with the guys I was dating younger. They were more play mates (I have had some older that acted the same also) for my boys. Very immature when they could be. When we went out they were great but when it was down time for the video game they'd be there half the night. Outside of the maturity level on certain subjects I had no problem just never saw it as much long term because of the fixation on video games and comic books. I mean I like them but far from spending hundreds of dollars a month on them when I am telling them their future savings would be so much more if they just say one of the hundreds of dollars spent. But, that is me I am one of very few 27 y/o who has 3 different retirement plans and has had them since 18. So a big difference is I am more geared to that and always have been and those guys just weren't there yet.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 9:32am
I have dated men younger, older, and the same age. I myself find that I am usually physically attracted to men slightly younger than myself. I have found that they do tend to be a bit immature especially at the age you referred to. I no longer date men who are younger than me, but everyone is different. I would just wait it out.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 10:34am

I've had a couple of experiences with younger guys... my high school boyfriend was younger than I and my last boyfriend was almost 4 years younger than me.

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 12:22pm

Considering your ages, here are some cons I can think of.....


1. you want to be married within the next few years, he doesn't
2. you want to have kids soon, he wants to wait until he's in his 30's
3. He's just not ready to settle down anytime soon
4. He still wants to party and go clubbing 24/7


Those would be the biggies. Cuz, no offense, but at your age, assuming you want marriage and kids, that clock is going to start getting really loud in the next 3-5 years. And you need to know eventually where he wants to be in his life (age wise).


The pros:


1. He's young, he's a stud muffin (lol)
2. He'll make you feel younger
3. If you don't want it to be serious, it can be loads of fun (partying, clubbing, just fun).


For myself. I have dated younger men and normally, I can't deal with their vocabulary alone. i.e. most I"ve met swear all the time, are into WAY too much slang for me, don't know anything in the world about "life". I grew up too fast, and therefore, younger men, never had any interest for me. I usually went for older men.


Oh, at your age, you could date someone up to their mid-30's and still act young. I'm 30, bf is 36 and all we do is play. We aren't into the drinking/bar/club scene, so we fit each other. I think if your lifestyles match, you both want the same things, heck, why not. lol. For me, most of the guys I"ve dated, who matched me, were older. BUT, ACTED younger, but NOT immature. I believe in balance. Having fun, being a kid, but not being immature. Those are the men that I am attracted to. =)





my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 1:30pm

Actually, that's the thing. He's 23, and he wants to settle down. His 2 best friends are married, one has a child on the way. He already has land purchased and is now saving to build a house. We both like to go out on the weekends, but we can curl up and watch a movie too. It's so strange how we connected. We're just totally comfortable with eachother. We like a lot of the sames things, hobbies and entertainment. On top of that, he treats me so well. It seems the guys I meet that are my age are either alcoholics or big jerks.

But you're right, my clock is ticking, so the fact that he looking for long term is a great thing, because most guys his age are still just into having fun.

<> Oh yes he's a gym rat, and totally hot!! ;-)

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 1:52pm

That's a good thing then. I'd say, there are smoe that are mature and do want to settle down. However, I'd give him some more time, at leat until he's at least 25....only cuz y'know, I've seen WAY too many women/men on the "divorced and under 30" board that we used to have, and most of them regret settling down so early (under 25) and having kids so young, instead of "playing". I don't mean playing around, I just mean, enjoying life to the fullest w/o any obligations.


Good luck. IT sounds like a good match. and if it is, screw the age. lol.




my pet!




my pet!