Why is he giving me the run around?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2005
Why is he giving me the run around?
2
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 10:56am
So I've been seeing this guy for 3 mons. It started off casual, but now we see each other regularly. Its gotten so that we kind of assume we're going to see each other without having to make any plans. I've gotten introduced to all of his friends, coaches, sister, and mother, so I was feeling like I had him, but one day when I was watching him shoot hoops with friends, our relationship kind of came up. One of the girls there ask him if I was his girlfriend and he quickly replied NO! Ok so I know it wasn't official or anything, but damn, did he have to answer so quick? So sI ask him what was going on between us, and he said you tell me. So I told him I'm not talking to any other guys and I'd like to become exclusive. His response was, "thats what you say right now, but you'll change. I've heard this all before. I really like you, but I'm going to be a man and tell you that I'm scared." I told him I was scared too, but was putting myself out there to see, and he said he doesn't want to talk about, and we should let nature take its course. OK so that's a blow off right? So I stopped seeing him as frequently and hanging with other dudes. So I let him know, and its such a huge problem, because he's "not" talking to any other girls. Ok so I decide to leave these guys alone and once again try to be exclusive. I bring up the topic again, and he says "Your here now. Your here almost every night. You sleep in my bed. What does that mean?" Maybe I'm dumb, but I don't kow. I ask him what it meant, and he says I don't want to say anything, girls don't get it. What? So I'm lost. I should assume he must not be into me right? I know that he wa in an 8 year relationship and hurt badly, but I'm not sure if I'm just around to keep his mind off his ex, or if he's honestly scared? Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 11:06am
I think he wants to take things as they come. You are with him and every thing is going ok. Why hurt things by wanting a title. It seems to me, you are rocking the boat and he wants things to keep things on the slow and steady. Just go how things have been and when he is ready he will put a title but why only after 3 mos. You are always with him and you both enjoy each others company. If you need a title how about casual dating.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 04-04-2005 - 11:51am

My two cents.


At 3 months, and considering what your r'ship entails, I would at least expect him to be okay with being exclusive...meaning no dating anyone else, no having sex with anyone else. Mostly because, I wouldn't be okay with dating casually for that length of time, and not having that exclusivity.


That being said, I don't like his attitude, nor his answers/reactions one bit. They ring a bit of immaturity, being




my pet!