FEELING LIKE WE ARE DISCONNECTING
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FEELING LIKE WE ARE DISCONNECTING
| Mon, 04-04-2005 - 2:52pm |
HI EVERYONE, I JUST NEED SOME OUTSIDE OPINIONS. I AM ENGAGED AND ABOUT TO BE MARRIED IN 8 MONTHS, LATELY THINGS FEEL WEIRD BETWEEN US. MOSTLY I FEEL LIKE HE IS JUST NOT INTO ME AS MUCH. I KNOW SOME MEN CAN GET ALL NERVOUS WITH THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE THING AT SEEING US GO OFF WITH OUR GIRLFRIENDS OR CONSTANTLY TALKING ABOUT WEDDING PLANS, I MEAN SOMETIMES I GET SICK OF MYSELF...LOL
BUT TO ME ANDI KNOW THAT I AM VERY SENSITIVE IT FEELS LIKE HE JUST STOPPED CARING, WHEN IM OBVIOUSLY UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING HE DOES NOT ASK IF IM OK, HE DOES NOT EVEN ASK WHATS WRONG. BEFORE WE GOT ENGAGED HE WAS ALL OVER ME NOW ITS LIKE I FEEL IM CONSTANTLY THROWING MYSELF AT HIM, ITS HARD TOO FEEL SEXY WHEN YOU ARE ALWAYS THE AGRESSOR, IT MAKES YOU FEEL NOT WANTED. IM NOT REALLY SURE WHAT MY QUESTION IS, MAYBE IS THERE A GOOD WAY TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS? IVE ASKED HIM IF HE IS RECONSIDERING THE MARRIAGE AND HE SAYS NO WAY.
BUT TO ME ANDI KNOW THAT I AM VERY SENSITIVE IT FEELS LIKE HE JUST STOPPED CARING, WHEN IM OBVIOUSLY UPSET ABOUT SOMETHING HE DOES NOT ASK IF IM OK, HE DOES NOT EVEN ASK WHATS WRONG. BEFORE WE GOT ENGAGED HE WAS ALL OVER ME NOW ITS LIKE I FEEL IM CONSTANTLY THROWING MYSELF AT HIM, ITS HARD TOO FEEL SEXY WHEN YOU ARE ALWAYS THE AGRESSOR, IT MAKES YOU FEEL NOT WANTED. IM NOT REALLY SURE WHAT MY QUESTION IS, MAYBE IS THERE A GOOD WAY TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT THIS? IVE ASKED HIM IF HE IS RECONSIDERING THE MARRIAGE AND HE SAYS NO WAY.

Maybe that's his way of dealing with all the hoopla. Maybe he feels you've turned away from him and your attention is now more on the wedding than on him. Is he OK with the wedding plans? Would he be more comfortable with something smaller and less time-consuming? Some men truly aren't appreciate of big, lavish affairs. Remember, it's his wedding too.
Or, could it be he's got you now and feels he doesn't have to put in any more effort? He can relax, so to speak. He doesn't have to keep up the romance because he's attained the goal he was after.
If you can't get a logical response from him, I would suggest a bit of counseling perhaps. It would be much better to clear the air now, rather than end up 2 or 3 years from now wondering what went wrong.
Oooo...pre-marital counseling is a GREAT idea. I asked my therapist what it entails. Usually it just entaiils what you both think marriage is, what you expect, learn how to communicate, fight fairly, how to make sure you have what it takes to make the marriage work.
I'd suggest that. Seriously. It would help in MANY ways, besides finding out what he's thinking/feeling.
He could just think that wedding stuff is bothering you and he doesn't care much about the event, as long as you both are the guests of honor...or he may have stopped caring, like you were afraid he is.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?