Help! I dont know wat to do :(

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Help! I dont know wat to do :(
3
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 2:09am


Hey! Thanks for looking at my post.

Ok I was going out with this guy for a year and a half... I really love him and we saw each other every day and were even talking about moving in with each other... Anyway he all of a sudden became best friends with this guy that I cant stand (who happens to be my ex and he used to hate him more than i did). All of a sudden he started wanting to see this guy every day and hanging round him instead of me... obviously this upset me and caused alot of tension between us and eventually we decided on a break...

I went for about 3 days when i dedcided i missed him to much and told him i couldnt handle a break... he said he was enjoying the freedom and wanted the break to go for at least 2 weeks... Its been 5 months now... and he has been sending me mixed signals the whole time... one minute he says he still loves me and he doesnt want me taling to other guys cos he wants me back eventually he just doesnt want commitment. then he says "do what you want im not your boyfriend"

He still sees me at least once a week but he wont give me a definate answer as to wat he wants... I love him and i would choose to be with him over anyone but i dont wanna sit around waiting for a year then have him turn around and say he doesnt want me!!

This guy asked me out who seems nice... i dont no wat to say! i dont wanna be alone anymore but i dont wanna have to say goodbbye to him forever...

P.S he hasnt slept or been seeing any other girls just hanging round this guy and other friends...

if he really loved me that much he would get back with me rather than risk losing me right?/

PLEASE HELP!! its tearing me apart! thanks mwah xoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 11:52am

Hello and welcome!

I am going to be blunt with you. If he was really into you then he would have gotten back with you a long time ago. Also how do you positivley know that he is not sleeping with other girls? You are not with him 24/7. Also he might be telling you that he hasn't been with any other girls just so it won't hurt you.

Are you still sleeping with him? If you are I would stop. Because if you are you are just a piece of booty for the time being and in the long run you might get hurt worst. I don't believe in the breaks or I need space. I feel that is a line of crap. I think you need to move on and cut all contact with him. I know it's easier said then done but I have done it before so I know it is possible.

See you you still having contact he is getting his cake and eating it too. And he's not taken you serious. I bet if you totally cut him off and not contacted him , then you will find out if he truley loves you or not. Now he could call just out of curiosity wondering why you haven't called or it could be a wake up call that if I don't do something to save my relationship then I am going to lose the person I love.

Sorry if I sounded mean because I wasn't trying to be mean but I think you are being taken advantage of.

But I wish you the best of luck in any desion that you make.

~michelle

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2005
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 12:03pm

Hey
Thanks for the reply!

When u say cut contact with him do you mean like stop returning his calls, make excuses when he wants to see me etc and kinda phase him out or actually say "i think we should stop seeing/talking to each other?

I dont think I could actually say it to him... cos i no he would somehow say s omething to make me feel like it was my loss.. and he would say stuff like "thats a shame cos were so close and ive never loved a girl as much as i love u, ur different" and "if u really loved me u would wait ... u obviously dont love me"

I no its pathetic but he is really hard to stand up to and i dont wanna lose him...

thanks for your help xoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Fri, 04-08-2005 - 1:16pm

I think cutting contact means...when he calls, tell him that you've gotten mixed signals for too long and you're not going to keep waiting on him and that if he wants to call you as a friend, that's fine ~ but outside of friends, you won't be there for him to manipulate anymore.


DO NOT LET HIM GUILT YOU...and if he says anything of the nature of 'you'd wait if you loved me', it total guilt trip and codependent behavior.

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?