getting over someone is not so easy !
Find a Conversation
| Sat, 04-09-2005 - 7:50pm |
well, I am new to this message board and have been needing someone to talk with about my problems.. I don't know where to start but here goes........ I am now 34 and my ex-boyfriend is 34 we are just two days apart. We almost got married at age 16 he is my first true love, as I was or am his. Lets see, we parted when we were 18 yrs old and he got married and so did I . I am married, but not truely happy, never really have been, since my heart has always been in my ex's hands. well, me and my ex never saw each other for almost 10 yrs later. So, one day we just found each other, which was about 6 yrs ago, and I have been married for 15 yrs. well, my ex is not married anymore and we started talking and thinking about our past and how things could of been like if we would of gotten married way back then. He did tell me he has never forgotten me and that he would always drive by my old house, and to all the places we use to go together. I do not have any children and he has one son, well, two now. ok my life is crazy, so please hang in there while i type and think at the same time since i could write a book about my long crazy life.
well, we wanted to get back together after those 10 yrs of being apart he actually wanted to marry me, as adults. well, my husband and i do not have the best marriage and he is 10 yrs older then me, so that makes things harder as well, since i like to do more things and my husband does not. well, anywho........my ex always played games with me when i was dating him which we started this at age 13 but almost married at age 16. well, i thought he had changed but NO!!! he still wants to play games, with my head! I guess it is or was my fault since i let him start to think i was hanging on to him. He is a very pleasent person to be with so much fun, and a great talker. well, he plays in a local band and he has done this since he was 16 so that was not new to me......he would always sing to me, when we were 16 and now he is still singing love songs to me even when i use to go see him at the clubs. he drives me crazy with these songs since he can not let his true feelings come out, when it comes to love. I did tell him I was going to make it work with my husband and wrote him a letter and i gave this letter to him in person and he read it and i have NEVER seen a man cry like this before and he told me he has never cried like this but only one time when his grandma passed away. well, i can see the love in his eyes even if after we stoped talking. I would make my husband take me to the clubs just so i could see and hear my ex sing and play. oh , how i wanted to talk to him........ and i could see it in his eyes! well, we had a relationship for 4 half years as friends and lovers but mostly friends...who wanted more. well, we would stop talking for 3 months, 6m, 8 months then we would start talking again.....you see he would always call me 2 am or 3 am on my cell phone. He would always call me just to say hi even during the day. He knew i was married and he knows i am not truely happy. well, we stoped talking for 8 months since we could not be togeteher like a couple in his eyes........so, he found an nother lady and got her pregnant and she was married as well, but now divorced.....he called me and we had dinner and told me that he was a fther again and i was in shock!!!! But, things went on with me and him again, and again, oh , he and i both wanted to be together as a couple! Well, one day my husband found out, and of course my husband knew about him and knew him after all my ex did give my husband my phone # as a joke when i was 18 and my ex NEVER thought i would marry him, you see my ex thought this was a joke for my husband. well, once my husband found out about my ex and me talking it was over right there and then........well, for enough for my husband to belive. well, long story short.............me and my ex had a HUGE< HUGE argument, over the phone i was crying and so was he. He wanted to see me face to face but i said no...... you see i saw his car at his ex girlfriends house and he was there visiting with his son, well, he had told me it was over with her, but when i saw him there i saw red. I don't know why i should of since I am married , and my ex is not so why should he have to answer to any one right???
well, that was the last time i have talked with him, but saw him about 2 xs after that and he was with her. its now been over a year and half and i have not talked with him. I have been getting calls unknown calls on my cell phone late at night and during the day like when he use to call me....... his whole family was so happy we were getting together after so many years had past his family LOVES me BUT, my family can not stand him that is a BIG issue in my ex's eyes..........well, his brother went into my store the other day, and my mom was working that day, and he asked for me......she almost threw him out which is not right i know......but she can not stand any of his family. well, I know there are a lot more stores out there so why did his brother go into my business??
I don't know if I should still continue to be married and try and have a child, with my husband......and he knows where my heart is at.......but he won't leave me.....
well, what do you think have any of you experianced any of these things that i am going through for so many years?
do you think my ex still cares for me?
do i give up and throw in the towel?
should i look for him?
sorry so long but I really do need help, PLEASE anyone.........I had to vent some as well........thanks so, so much!!
dimplesy

Do you really think your ex could make you happy? You said yourself that he plays head games with you. That's not love or happiness. He hasn't found true love yet, and maybe it's not because he's destined to be with you but because he's playing games with these other women too.
What attracts you to him? What makes you think he'd be a good mate? Don't hang your hopes and dreams on the fact that you were childhood sweethearts and he's done romantic things like sing love songs for you. The fact remains that he plays games with you and has not - even after all these years - done anything concrete to help you guys get together and stay together. Personally I think he likes the attention you give him and your desire for him gives his ego a boost. You deserve someone who truly loves and cares about you and wants to give you more than an ego boost or have you give them one.
It sounds like you need to get out of your unhappy marriage as well. Why are you still there? And don't leave your husband just so you can be with your ex the game player. You might be jumping from the frying pan into the fire!
You are the only one who can stop your life from being so crazy! Get rid of the people in your life that are not working, and find people who help you achieve what you want from life. Maybe meeting new people should be put on hold until you figure out what you want your life to be.
Just my 2 cents...