Guys I need your help-please

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Guys I need your help-please
2
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 12:45am

Here goes. I am planning on getting in touch with an ex of mine. We had a great relationship about 5 years ago. After all was over I moved on. Basically-when I told him I was getting married and he walked away from me. Just said congrats and no eye contact. I need closure and am planning on getting in touch with him. What should I expect? We had a great relationship-the love was real. Any advice????

Scared

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2005
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 2:54am

I'm confused. What exactly do you hope to accomplish by contacting your ex? Do you just want an explanation for his reaction to your announcement that you were getting married? Honestly I think if you have "moved on" and are getting married then you have already received "closure" on your relationship with your ex.

I don't know how your fiance/husband would feel about you getting in touch with your ex, but you signed your post "Scared". That tells me you have doubts, whether they have anything to do with your fiance/husband or not, about contacting your ex. Obviously you have not remained friends who contact each other regularly if you are "getting back in touch".

Personally, I would not contact him. You might be opening the proverbial Pandora's Box. Maybe his reaction to your wedding announcement was because he still has feelings for you. Contacting him might be viewed by him as you still having feelings for him, and then you might have real problems to deal with. Or it might turn out to be nothing but you finding out he was just shocked to hear about your marriage plans.

Either way, if you are getting married you have found the man of your dreams and the reactions of someone from your past are not important. You once had feelings for this man, but if you are intending to marry another, those feelings should be gone now. Cherish your memories, but don't needlessly open a can of worms.

Just my thoughts...

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2003
Sun, 04-10-2005 - 9:39am
The thing is that we were great friends before we began to date. There is a lot more to it than what i wrote. He was my best friend. The crap I said to him-even my husband thinks I should apologize. There is just so much more to it.