Broke up, but did I jump the gun?
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Broke up, but did I jump the gun?
| Sun, 04-10-2005 - 12:42pm |
I broke up with my boyfriend because we're not on the same page right now. He just got out of the service and just started his education, while I'm working and setting future goals. We love each other very much and are very sad to see the relationship end, but know it's for the best right now. He knows he can't give me what I want, marriage and children, anytime soon, and I'm not about to put that kind of pressure on him, so we've gone our separate ways. We both know we want the same thing in the end, but neither of us are willing to commit; I'd have to compromise more than he would. SO...I'm really sad and wish things could be different. We're only 24, very young, so did I jump the gun, or should I stick around and have a great time with a great guy?

Hi,
Not being in the same place, nor wanting the same thing within the next 3-5 years is a VERY valid reason for ending things. Especially IF you have to compromise a lot and give up a lot.
I know it hurts and it's rough. It doesn't mean neither of you don't love each other, but what it simply means is that the timing is off. If it's truly meant to be, the whole timing issue, would be fine. If you want marriage and a family, in the next couple of years, and he doesn't, there's not much you can do. I mean, you have the choice of sacrificing your life and next few years in the HOPES of him wanting it, or you can move on and find someone who wants that too, and will plan with you later.
If it's one thing I learned after two failed marriages, it's that a marriage works best, when you have the same goals, want the same lifestyle, and being happy with the lifestyle you BOTH lead, alone AND together.
Hugs. I know it was a hard decision, but that just shows your strength and courage. You are a very strong woman to have walked away. Many would've stayed and waited.....and some would have waited for nothing, and a few in there, might've gotten what they wanted.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do, is also the right thing to do.