Not comfortable with this....

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2005
Not comfortable with this....
4
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 8:25am

I posted earlier about dating, age differences and maturity levels. Well, I've been seeing a guy for about a month, I'm 27, he's 23. He is a very good person, very sweet, and treats me well. But here's the problem that I'm becoming very uncomfortable with.

He tells his parents EVERYTHING. And he's proud of that. He lives with them so he sees them everyday. He told me there's not ONE thing he does that he doesn't tell his parents about. I mean, it's one thing to have a good, honest, open r'ship with your parents, but to me, there's just some things you don't need to go into details about.

For example, he was a virgin till we started dating. Well, the first night we had sex, he went home and told his mom. Even told her he "didn't last very long!!"

And his parents basically know my life story including all my "dirty laundry" and I haven't even met them yet. So, they already know that I was married and divorced at 19, a few other mistakes I've made in my life I'd rather not mention, and yes, that I took their son's virginity a week after he met me. Great huh? Then he tells me his mom has asked when she gets to meet me. How awkward is that going to be knowing that every time I have sex with their son, they'll probably hear about it.....

His parents sound like wonderful people, and very supportive of him, and they're probably not judging me like I think they are, but there's some things that aren't anyone's business.

So comments, advice please??? Am I over-reacting??

Avatar for ddnlj
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 8:43am

Yuck... and how embarrassing for you. He may think he's being a dutiful son by telling his parents everything, but he's sure not being very sensitive to you.

Talking to his mother about his sex life, and telling her about your past is inappropriate for a man his age. I think I'd be seriously rethinking this relationship because the two of you will never have a private life. His parents will expect to be told everything that goes on, and he will be all too happy to tell. That could put you in compromising situations. His loyalty will always be to his parents.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 12:28pm

Okay, that's over the top. When you said everything, I guess I didn't want to believe you actually MEANT EVERYTHING.


Have you ASKED him not to tell his folks anything about you that is private, anymore? Have you talked to him about how uncomfortable it makes you feel knowing that his folks know about your past life....which, btw, is NONE of THEIR business.


If my dbf told his folks everything I"ve told him, I'd have absolutely no trust in him. And no respect, because obviously, he has NO respect for PRIVACY. MY PRIVACY.


I mean, I can understand if he told them about his virginity or something important like that, but to tell THEM about YOUR dirty laundry is disrespectful to YOU.


My two cents. I'd run and run fast. As




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 3:09pm

Time for a serious ~ "this part does not work for me" talk.

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 04-11-2005 - 3:21pm

'while I think it's great that your relationship with your parents is that good, what you tell them as it pertains to me, ISN'T ok with me'.




my pet!