will he ever know what he wants?
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will he ever know what he wants?
| Tue, 04-12-2005 - 2:18pm |
Hi everyone. I was dating this great guy that I met here at college for about 2 1/2 months before he decided he didn't want to date anyone right now. He said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. I understand that but I felt that our relationship was wonderful. He's in a band and they practice most friday nites. His other two bands members are married. One guy has been married to his wife for 3 years. The other guy has been married to his wife for about 2 1/2 years and will be expecting their first child in September. They all married young and are very happy. I love hanging out with the girls when the guys practice. The guy I was dating has always been sweet and great to me. He would IM me sometimes and greet me with "hi gorgeous" which always made me feel great. He is studying electrical engineering and he is very intelligent. He is wonderful and later in the relationship we began having sex. He wasn't my first but I hadn't planned on doing that again because the last guy I was with basically used me. I didn't think I would be ready for that again. Things just progressed and I decided I loved him and wanted to be close to him like that. I was his first and I made sure that he was sure he wouldn't regret it. Things were wonderful....I felt as if I had found the perfect guy for me. I also thought he felt the same. But a few weeks ago he started acting different. He wouldn't really call me and he didn't seem to want to hang out as much. Later he told me he didn't want to have sex anymore because he felt guilty and wanted to also start going to church every sunday again. I totally agreed with him because I was feeling almost the same way. I was afraid to tell him earlier because I was afraid he would think I had used him and that was definitely not the case. I do love him even though some may say it's too early to feel that way. He is great and I want to stay with him and maybe someday get married to him. He told me he just wasn't ready for a serious committment relationship right now and wanted a break. I was of course heartbroken. He knows I love him and I know he doesn't feel the same. He thought he was ready for a serious relationship but he changed his mind. He isn't sure why really. He is very confused on what he wants in that department and mostly all he knows is that he wants his band to go big. I'm trying to understand the way he feels and give him his space. I'm trying to just be friends right now. I don't want to lose him. I would do anything for him. I do miss the way things use to be and sometimes it depresses me that we don't really hang out or talk much anymore. He says he does care about me. He says we have plenty of time to get back together later. He also says if his band goes big that the wives can't go with them and they will be moving in together. He said "I'm sure you're more than welcome to move in with them if that happens". Do you have any advice in this situation? Does anyone feel there is hope of us reuniting? How do I make things not seem so awkward when we are around each other? I don't want to pressure him into a relationship with me and I want him to love me when it's right for him. Any advice would be great. Please be gentle with any negative thoughts.
Signatures On
| Tue, 04-12-2005 - 4:14pm |
You don't really have any power to control this situation I'm afraid. Your guy has been straight with you and you have been straight with him. He has his goals set and is pursuing them. I would advise you to do the same. Stay busy and don't dwell on him all of the time (I know that is easier said then done). If he can't make you any promises in the future I wouldn't plan on one with him. Look elsewhere for happiness with someone more emotionally prepared for a relationship. I hope this helps some.
