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| Tue, 04-12-2005 - 9:51pm |
A while ago I posted a message about how I was not attracted to my boyfriend anymore of 2.5 yrs.
Well I began to think what I wanted to do was break up with him, but then I had trouble sleeping and my appitite was gone. Out of desperation to talk to someone I just told my boyfriend the problem. Well we were going to see how things work out, and this made me happy. I could sleep and eat again. I began to think what I really wanted to do is to stay with him. However there is still this thought in the back of my mind about what if. The thing is I still love my boyfriend.
Lately however when we have gone over to his friends' house he has been acting like more of a jerk. This is nothing unusual it just is not usually this frequent. Its been making me feel bad and he knows this. I'm not sure what to do. When I thought about leaving him I began to have suicidal thoughts....I was thinking about next time he has this attitude about telling him "I am leaving and dont call me until you are willing to treat me like a decent human being" or something more direct like either he changes his attitude or I'm gone for good. I dont know if I should. I do not have any friends and I feel completely and utterly alone.
Well I began to think what I wanted to do was break up with him, but then I had trouble sleeping and my appitite was gone. Out of desperation to talk to someone I just told my boyfriend the problem. Well we were going to see how things work out, and this made me happy. I could sleep and eat again. I began to think what I really wanted to do is to stay with him. However there is still this thought in the back of my mind about what if. The thing is I still love my boyfriend.
Lately however when we have gone over to his friends' house he has been acting like more of a jerk. This is nothing unusual it just is not usually this frequent. Its been making me feel bad and he knows this. I'm not sure what to do. When I thought about leaving him I began to have suicidal thoughts....I was thinking about next time he has this attitude about telling him "I am leaving and dont call me until you are willing to treat me like a decent human being" or something more direct like either he changes his attitude or I'm gone for good. I dont know if I should. I do not have any friends and I feel completely and utterly alone.
