Listen to What People Tell You

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Listen to What People Tell You
2
Wed, 04-13-2005 - 1:32pm

My fave

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 04-13-2005 - 7:20pm

Fabulous post! I can identify friends in each one of your scenarios.

I've had the friend who's partner wasn't ready for marriage, yet promptly got engaged to the next girlfriend.

I've had the friend who lived with her boyfriend for 10 years waiting for a proposal which never came .... and which he had openly admitted that he didn't intend to give. Each Valentines day she would book a lovely escape so that his proposal would be perfect and each Valentines day she came home disappointed.

Another friend finally ended her marriage because her husband didn't want kids. She quickly re-married and is now a mother. Interestingly, he is now dating women with kids.....perhaps he simply didn't want kids with her?

I was married at 20 and divorced at 24. At that stage in my life, marriage was important to me and we didn't want kids - ever. Fast forward to now: I'm 38 and I'm blissfully happy in 12 year defacto relationship (with a verbal promise to love and honour each other till death do us part) and have two great kids, mortage and dog. How our attitudes can change over the period of 20 years!

I should say though, while DH and I have never married, it's because NEITHER of us sees a need. If it was truly important to one of us, we most likely would have done it.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2005
Thu, 04-14-2005 - 6:41pm

Wow Well Said! I have been posting telling people that they need to find someone else that is willing to work in the relationship. This sums it up perfect! I have a hard time writting.

You can't change a man that is for sure! If he is unsure, then maybe it is not what he wants and is just delaying as long as he can.

We dated for 1 year and then made the commitment. Both of us. And 10 years later, things are great!

Have a nice day! :)
http://www.superlaugh.com/1/haveaniceday.htm

Regards,
Tracy