feeling discouraged

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-26-2005
feeling discouraged
2
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:38am

Hi all,

Lately I've been feeling a bit discouraged in my relationship. We've been dating about 4 months long distance and it seems like things are always either really good, or we're going through a bit of a difficult patch. We communicate really well together and care about each other lots, but I'm just feeling kind of "blah" about things lately. We used to be able to talk for hours on the phone, but it seems like we've run out of things to talk about. When I actually go out with him when we visit it seems like one night I'll have the time of my life, and the next night things seem completely different.

I'm going back home for the summer (4 mths) though, so the LD thing will end soon. I'm hoping that we'll be able to 'reconnect' once the physical distance between us is gone... we've never really had the chance to see each other for that long without one of us having to leave.

Any advice/encouragement would really be appreciated. Thanks guys!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 11:49am
Long distance relationships really can put a wear on a relationship. Begin thinking of things you both can do together and get your mind ready. Because many times with long distance you know the time limit and hence have a lot going on day one and day two nothing it is blah. But, begin anticpating the things you will be able to do and what you have wanted to but haven't had time. get your mind set right and then the blah will turn into excitment of the things to come instead of oh another weekened where I will see him and we do this and then sit home. Think of the different things you both can do like shopping one day, movie nights, whatever couples do when they are together.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Fri, 04-15-2005 - 12:34pm

Marie gave some good advice. Also, something else to remember......if you talk for hours on the phone, eventually you'll have told them everything that there's nothing left to talk about. I would give the HOURS long phone calls a rest. Mostly because many times it gets old. Not that you're boring, but if you talk all the time, at hours on end, even I'd be like, enough. Need to cut the calls shorter, and I love to talk. lol.


Hugs. I know it's hard. I'd say, see what happens during the summer. Also, maybe you can find out what has been going on at home for him. Maybe he's been stressed, distracted, etc. I dunno.


As my xh said to me when we were LDR, "the phone is NOT your boyfriend" meaning, he can't talk long all the time, we can't have hours long conversations all the time, I need to get my own life. lol. And well, he was right. I did. Also, while in an LDR, your r'ship isn't based on "real-life". Meaning, when you see each other, you try to make the best of it, you dont' talk about things that may irritate you, etc, because you want it to be a good time. Hence, it's not "real". With this summer, i think you'll interact more on a normal basis, so you'll really know if it's just the LD part, or if it's the end of the r'ship.


good luck





my pet!