Old before our time? Please advise!
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| Sat, 04-16-2005 - 11:35am |
**I also posted this on Guy Talk. I wanted to post here too because, although I'm mostly a lurker, I like this board alot too. Thanks. **
I am feeling unsatisfied in my relationship, and I don't know what to do. I think the signs are out that the relationship is coming to an end. Please advise.
Background: We have been exclusive for 3 months. We were friends for a few months before that. We work for the same company and have offices very close to each other, although we do not work together.
I just feel... like he doesn't place a high importance on our relationship. Its hard to get his undivided attention. Its as if, if I'm there with him, great; if not, fine. This weekend was the first weekend for which he did not specifically ask me to spend time with him in advance. Yesterday afternoon he asks me at work what I want for dinner that night. We decide to cook in.
He was in an irritated mood when we got to his place last night (he made a point of saying that he wasn't irritated with me -- per my request from our talk about the problem I posted about last time -- just irritated at a lot of things. (He got a work assignment Friday afternoon, so he has to work both days this weekend) He made dinner and we watched a movie on TV. He started working on a hobby on his computer and printing things out. I said that I hoped he wasn't going to do that all night. He said that my statement was "unreasonable" and that printing things out wasn't interfering with talking and spending time together. After he finished printing, he said he was tired and was almost ready for bed. The TV movie had finished playing and started to repeat. I was feeling very listless and bored. We were trying to fall asleep in bed shortly before 10pm.
This morning, he gets up very early to work on his hobby. I get up and have some coffee and read a book as he works. He then comes over and reads the paper, my legs on his lap. We talk a bit, but as we do our separate activities.
Then he says, Okay, I'm going to go work. Without reaching over to hug me or talk to me without me reading my book and he his paper. No undivided attention. So I said I was going to go too so I can get breakfast. He said I could stay as long as I wanted, but I decided to get going. I left before he did. He gave me a hug and said I seemed frustrated. I hugged him back and told him to have a good day. We said bye. There was no mention of doing anything tonight.
Here's the bottom line (it took me awhile to realize what it was): We're acting like an old comfortable couple, but we've only been together 3 months!! I didn't feel any excitement from him about me or us.
What do I do?

Sometimes you have to just push conversation. Say what's on your mind. If you feel negatively about your relationship you should be able to talk to your partner. But then again if he said that he's not irritated with you, you shouldn't worry about it. Sometimes as women we seem to think one thing when there's really nothing to think about at all. I should know because me and my boyfriend have only been together for 2 months and I feel that there's certain things that I should tell him and I just don't know how to put it into words that will actually sound right together.
I understand your position and I know it's difficult to sit back and have the words in your head and not be able to say it. The best advice that I can give you is to say what you have to say and make sure that you hear him out as well...that is if he says anything. Hope this helps!!
Sweetness0423