Does he want to spend his life with me?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Does he want to spend his life with me?
5
Mon, 04-18-2005 - 9:50pm
I have been dating my B.F for 9mths. He has a 6yr old daughter that he is raising alone (I am 26yrs and he is 33yrs). He told me that he has difficulty balancing his extreme work schedule with the child, his personal life and his relationship with me. He told me that his child mother took him to court to counter his custody of the child on grounds of his hectic schedule. He said he acknowleges my patient nature and he feels bad that for the past 3mths he has not been able to spend much time with me. He says he has been debating this issue for awhile and given the nature of his work schedule he thinks it is better for him date someone willing to be a stay at home mom inorder to make the balance. He said he doesn't not want to impose anything on me ( I have a Bsc.finance). I really love him. In the past he has asked me twice how many kids I would want and whether I would want to settle down and I was evasive. At one point I almost ended the relationship because of his schedule and he told me we could compromise and he said I should not throw in the towel.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2005
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 10:50am
hes looking for a mommy for his daughter
let him hire a nanny
if you want to be a stay at home mom your going to have to marry him
don't quit your life unless you think you want to marry him
don't move in until you are married
don't let him use you as a new mommy
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 2:19pm
I totally agree. I read that an instantly thought, "he wants a mommy" not a gf/wife.



my pet!




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 2:54pm

Ugh...tough one!

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:24pm
Thanks for the contribution. Steffy your contribution is pretty interesting because when I started dating him he said he was drawn to my conservative nature. We dated 3mths before he kissed me because at the time, I wanted to take things slow. I paced the relationship and at one time because of my inexperience I was beating about the bush ( I wanted him to get serious), and he got frustrated. He advised me to ask him the questions I wanted to know to get to the next level because he also wants to get there. He said he gets frustrated that he is unable to meet me the way he would because of his work day and his responsibility. He has a nanny but he says he needs someone by his side and he is willing to help me get into a business of my interest.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 9:50pm

---He has a nanny but he says he needs someone by his side and he is willing to help me get into a business of my interest.---

Huh. Well, THAT's an unexpected turn of events. So, is this going to be a business relationship or what? Quite frankly, I'm admiring this guy for being willing to put the cards on the table so you can make a decision. Seems to me he's respecting your position.

Then, again, I could be totally wrong, and he could be a lying, manipulative, cheating, maniac wolf who's just lying in wait for Goldilocks----only you know for sure.

:-)