So what was it?
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| Tue, 04-19-2005 - 2:45pm |
Hello all!
So here is my situation.
This weekend I met the most fantastic man. We spent the entire night laughing and flirting. When we got back to our friends house, we wound up sleeping together. I have to say it was not the best... we had both been drinking. (you know how that goes, lol!) The next morning I expected to get the "yeah, that was fun, lets do it again sometime" speech, but much to my surprise he grabbed me before I even had a chance to get out of bed and wanted to snuggle. This behavior from a man is something I have not seen in a very long time! We spent the entire day, flirting, napping, talking, and most importantly LAUGHING! To me it was the perfect day. The house we were staying at was his friends, and his friends were there all day also, and witnessed him being affectionate! (again, another behavior I am not familure with) It was starting to get late, and we decided to check onto a hotel for some privacy. (as you may have gathered we are both visiting form out of town, however we live only an hour apart) He was incredible to me. The sex was fantastic, and after he wanted to talk! I want to believe this guy is wonderful, but as you may have gathered I have had AWFUL experiences with men. As he was leaving the next morning he was acting weird. He didn't have much to say, he came around to my side of the bed, gave me a kiss and said "Maybe I will call you sometime." This I assumed was in a joking manor at the time, but of course now I think he was serious. It has only been 2 days, and he has not called. I really want to think I am freaking out and overthinking everything, because I felt a connection with him. Any ideas, suggestions, comments??
Thank you,
BETTY

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Welcome to the board, betty_bluenote.
Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?
It sounds like it was a fun weekend hookup to him and nothing more.
He may well be wonderful, but he's not interested in having a relationship with you, and it was unrealistic of you to expect anything based on his behavior this weekend (being affectionate and wanting to snuggle does NOT mean anything except that he's affectionate and likes to snuggle!).
Sheri
Thank you for your replies!
So if I thought this guy and I had a wonderful moment, but it all turned out to be another good time with some dude, how will I ever find a guy that is real? That is in it for more than sex? I am so damn confused. Just thought I would ask? I know I probably shouldn't have slept with him so fast, but really, does that make guys think differently?
It does make *some* guys think differently. Some men just wouldn't consider having a r'ship with someone who slept with them right away (which I think is hypocritical, but some men do think this way).
But the primary reason to not sleep with someone right away, IMO, is so you can get to know a guy, over time, without the haze of sexual infatutation getting in the way, to determine if he is a good match for you. Plus, while the fact that a guy is willing to wait a while to sleep with you doesn't *guarantee* that he's not just in it for sex, it does decrease the odds that he is.
Sheri
<< I thought this guy and I had a wonderful moment, but it all turned out to be another good time with some dude, how will I ever find a guy that is real? That is in it for more than sex? >>
One real good way of finding out if someone's for real and isn't just in it for the sex is to not have sex with 'em right away!
<< but really, does that make guys think differently? >>
YES!
Betty, I'm so glad you had such a nice weekend, you should smile and relish in it, but think realistically that it was just that. Maybe you two will cross paths again and that spark will arise again. It might just be bad timeing to start a relationship with him. Don't get discouraged, keep having fun, and be safe!!
"So if I thought this guy and I had a wonderful moment, but it all turned out to be another good time with some dude, how will I ever find a guy that is real? That is in it for more than sex? I am so damn confused. Just thought I would ask? I know I probably shouldn't have slept with him so fast, but really, does that make guys think differently?"
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