So what was it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
So what was it?
13
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 2:45pm

Hello all!

So here is my situation.

This weekend I met the most fantastic man. We spent the entire night laughing and flirting. When we got back to our friends house, we wound up sleeping together. I have to say it was not the best... we had both been drinking. (you know how that goes, lol!) The next morning I expected to get the "yeah, that was fun, lets do it again sometime" speech, but much to my surprise he grabbed me before I even had a chance to get out of bed and wanted to snuggle. This behavior from a man is something I have not seen in a very long time! We spent the entire day, flirting, napping, talking, and most importantly LAUGHING! To me it was the perfect day. The house we were staying at was his friends, and his friends were there all day also, and witnessed him being affectionate! (again, another behavior I am not familure with) It was starting to get late, and we decided to check onto a hotel for some privacy. (as you may have gathered we are both visiting form out of town, however we live only an hour apart) He was incredible to me. The sex was fantastic, and after he wanted to talk! I want to believe this guy is wonderful, but as you may have gathered I have had AWFUL experiences with men. As he was leaving the next morning he was acting weird. He didn't have much to say, he came around to my side of the bed, gave me a kiss and said "Maybe I will call you sometime." This I assumed was in a joking manor at the time, but of course now I think he was serious. It has only been 2 days, and he has not called. I really want to think I am freaking out and overthinking everything, because I felt a connection with him. Any ideas, suggestions, comments??

Thank you,
BETTY

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 2:55pm
It sounds to me like he just had a fantastic weekend, nothing more, nothing less. "Maybe I'll call you sometime"??? You wouldn't have to hit me upside the head to understand the implication of those words....just chalk it up to a night of great sex (that's something, after all) and go on. He may have been acting in a way that was sending mixed signals to you but the way he acted upon leaving pretty much tells how the "cow ate the cabbage" as we say around here. Good luck to you in the future, there is a great guy out there somewhere....unless I got the last one, lol. ( I know I didn't ) Becky
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 3:36pm

Welcome to the board, betty_bluenote.

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 4:07pm

It sounds like it was a fun weekend hookup to him and nothing more.

He may well be wonderful, but he's not interested in having a relationship with you, and it was unrealistic of you to expect anything based on his behavior this weekend (being affectionate and wanting to snuggle does NOT mean anything except that he's affectionate and likes to snuggle!).

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-10-2005
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 5:36pm

Thank you for your replies!

So if I thought this guy and I had a wonderful moment, but it all turned out to be another good time with some dude, how will I ever find a guy that is real? That is in it for more than sex? I am so damn confused. Just thought I would ask? I know I probably shouldn't have slept with him so fast, but really, does that make guys think differently?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:05pm

It does make *some* guys think differently. Some men just wouldn't consider having a r'ship with someone who slept with them right away (which I think is hypocritical, but some men do think this way).

But the primary reason to not sleep with someone right away, IMO, is so you can get to know a guy, over time, without the haze of sexual infatutation getting in the way, to determine if he is a good match for you. Plus, while the fact that a guy is willing to wait a while to sleep with you doesn't *guarantee* that he's not just in it for sex, it does decrease the odds that he is.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:52pm

<< I thought this guy and I had a wonderful moment, but it all turned out to be another good time with some dude, how will I ever find a guy that is real? That is in it for more than sex? >>

One real good way of finding out if someone's for real and isn't just in it for the sex is to not have sex with 'em right away!

<< but really, does that make guys think differently? >>

YES!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 1:53am
Yes dear, men tend to think a drunk woman is sloppy and easy. Let this be a lesson to you and never, never, never get drunk in public. You end up in bed with a guy that thinks very little of you. You had a sex in the city weekend and it was a learning experience. Let the next guy see you as a sweet young lady that he would love to bring home to mom and don't repeat the same mistake.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2005
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 10:30am
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread. Was having sex so important that you didn't consider that your feelings could get hurt? Why would you expect a man to be considerate of your feelings if you aren't?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-23-2005
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 11:33am
I do agree that guys can get the wrong idea about girls they pick up, but i don't think this was the case. They were both out of town and amongst friends, and having a good time and a fabulous hook-up. It was an amazing fling, and granted, he might still call. If he doesn't, I definitely wouldn't say because he's thinking man she's easy, it would be because of the distance or maybe he's involved already with someone at home.
Betty, I'm so glad you had such a nice weekend, you should smile and relish in it, but think realistically that it was just that. Maybe you two will cross paths again and that spark will arise again. It might just be bad timeing to start a relationship with him. Don't get discouraged, keep having fun, and be safe!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 12:12pm

"So if I thought this guy and I had a wonderful moment, but it all turned out to be another good time with some dude, how will I ever find a guy that is real? That is in it for more than sex? I am so damn confused. Just thought I would ask? I know I probably shouldn't have slept with him so fast, but really, does that make guys think differently?"





my pet!

Pages