he's coming to get his things tonight

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2005
he's coming to get his things tonight
4
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 4:59pm
Hi- he's coming over tonight to get the rest of the things...we broke up in February, dated for a year and a half, incredible relationship- crazy about each other, and 2 1/2 months ago he snapped and said he wasn't ready for a serious relationship. i'm 28 and he's 26. I'm completely heart broken over this...I was sure he was it. He wants to continue to be friends, I'm just finding it very difficult. Anyone had any experiences on how to handle this best? yes ideally I want him to come back...but then again only if he really thought he was ready and made a huge mistake...I just want an idea on how to handle tonight....
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2005
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:57pm
Oh wow. Good luck and be strong. Do you have any clue what it was that made him "snap?" The only thing I can say as an outsider is that you deserve someone who 100%, completely wants to be with you and loves you. I hope that he turns around and realizes that he made a mistake, but until that happens, I would give yourself some space from the situation and some time to move on, if need be. I myself am a huge believer in the phrase that "you don't know what you have until it's gone." Maybe the time apart, will make him turn around. And if it doesn't, then there's someone better out there for you. Good luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Tue, 04-19-2005 - 8:59pm

<< I'm completely heart broken over this...I was sure he was it. He wants to continue to be friends, I'm just finding it very difficult. Anyone had any experiences on how to handle this best? >>

The BEST, but also most difficult, way to handle heartbreak is to distance yourself. Being friends right away is too hard, because all the feelings are swirling around and you're still feeling attached emotionally. But, without the physical distance. By continuing to interact, it's too hard to detach. So, give yourself about 3 months to detach ...with NO contact ... and then see if you can be friends. It's hard, but being friends after a romantic relationship can work if both people have had the time and space to heal from the break-up and heartbreak. Good luck!

Avatar for ddnlj
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 9:43am

I'm so sorry. Sometimes there just isn't any rhyme or reason as to why things happen.

Do yourself a favor and try not to be home when he comes to get his things. Or pack them and set them on the porch. Unless you think the two of you can talk honestly about what happened, it will probably be nothing but torture for you to watch him carry everything out.

It's not much but I'm sending hugs. Try to be strong.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2004
Wed, 04-20-2005 - 2:22pm

Hello muggsieboston.

Steffy
CO-cl of Is It Meant to Be?