Confused.....
Find a Conversation
Confused.....
| Wed, 04-20-2005 - 2:55pm |
I need some advice here.. I have an ex from 3 years ago who ever since we had broken up has always wanted to get back together. We were young when we dated so I felt when we broke up we should take time to date other people and see what the world had to offer. I wanted to get my career on the right path before I wanted to settle down. It hurt him greatly to hear about me seeing someone else at times but I thought it was the best thing to be doing. We would see each other every now and then and then he would want to take things to a serious level and I was not ready yet. In turn this would hurt him and at one point he actually stopped all contact with me which was for the best at the time. Recently we got together again and I am ready to start a relationship with him. We spent about a month together and it was great until we got in a small argument. He then decided he needed time to think about things and needed space. Come to find out he had started seeing another girl. When we were spending time together we never talked about being exclusive but it was going in that direction. We both knew that the other person was not seeing anyone else. Now he is saying that he is scared I am going to leave again. He has dropped girls in the past when I have come around and he does not want to do the same thing this time because he does not know whether I am going to stay or leave. He said he just needs to let this take its course. I try to tell him I am ready to stay but only time is going to make him realize that. I am very hurt that he started seeing someone else without talking to me about it and I have told him this. He said he loves me and can only see us together but this is what he has to do right now. Needless to say I am not sure what to do. It has been about a month and now he wants to take me to dinner to celebrate my new job. I am still very upset over all of this and he said that he does not love her and it is not serious with this other girl. I asked what his intentions were regarding dinner and he said it was becasue he wanted to talk and to see me. However I get the feeling he is not ready to call it quits with this girl until he sees I am in this for good. I am having a hard time dealing with the fact that he is seeing someone else and I just dont know what to do. Any advice would be so helpful....

Well, two things.
1. I don't blame the guy for having back-up. boy do I feel sorry for her. if she knew what he was doing, she'd probably dump him. You made the bed of having walked out on him a few times, and well, he's scared. I say, allow him the other woman, tell him you won't have sex with him until you two are exclusive (too many disease running rampant out there) and just DATE him. Don't take it serious too fast. Just date. reconnect.
2. it also sounds like he's trying to hurt you the way you hurt him by dating those other men and turning him down a few times. (payback).
my advice. date him. get to know him again. allow him to date the other woman for awhile, dont' show him that it bothers you, but i would suggest putting restrictions on sex (oral or