age diffrences????
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| Thu, 04-21-2005 - 1:05pm |
Hi all I have a quick question.
I have known this guy for a couple of years now but never really talked to him much up until 8 mnths ago. I am very close to my daughters grandma (my ex's mom, yeah weird but she is my bf)well I hang out there all the time and her brothers friend always hangs out there too. FOr the past 8 months weve been hanging out and we have developed a great friendship. We are so much alike it's crazy. So I am kindof crushing over him right now, see I wasn't really attracted to him but after I got to know him his personality made him seem attractive to me now and he's all around good guy. Well my daughters grandma told me she thinks he starting to have a crush on me. But I never told anyone that I have a crush on him. So I kindof blew it off.
My main problem is our age I am 25 and he is 35 going to be 36. And I have never dated an older man. Do you think that age diffrence is bad?
I want to keep things the way they are but I'm worried if it becomes more than friends down the line, because I have been hurt sooooo many times. But the men I dated in the past were my age or younger. I have never dated such an older man before. But I was told that dating someone older could be better for me. I just need some advice.
Thanks
-Michelle

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Yeah I understand what you mean. See I have a 7 1/2 yr old daughter I was 17 when I had her, and I have only dated guys that were my age or younger and they all fell in love with me so quick but then they would leave me. And to me I have no interest in dating guys no more that are close to my age because they are so immature.
I have been at the same job for almost 7yrs I have lived on my own with my daughter for the past 5 1/2 yrs, that means paying rent , bills etc. I am a 25 yr old almost 26 and I am living like I am in my 30's. I don't have a problem with that at all, but I have been single for so long because I'm tired of the immature games these guys play.
I am really starting to think that once I am ready to get in the dating field again that I am going to look for men in their 30's. This guy that I have a crush on has all the same outlooks as me, he doesn't have any children but with him and I both being close to my daughters family he and my daughter have a good bond too. And the funny part is that my daughters grandma (my ex's mom) told me he had a crush on me and she is so excited. But I just blew it off. See my daughters grandma took me in when I was 15 yrs old and I am like the daughter she always wanted but never had. Me and her son have been broken up for almost 6 yrs , him and I have a friendship but there will never be anything between us ever again.
But with this guy that I have a crush on . I don't have the type of crush yet where I can see my self intimate with him yet , it's the kindof crush where I really enjoy his company and like being around him. See I 've never had that kind of crush before. I always had more of a lust crush in the past, So it feels like I am entering a whole new world and I kindof like it. But I am going to keep the things the way they are between me and this guy and if it develops into something else down the road then I will take it from there I guess.
Sorry so long, but I haven't felt like this in a LONG time and it feels good. lol!!!
-Michelle
Enjoy what you have for now and take it slow. I have noticed that older guys are who I date for the more mature relationships. Guys my age and younger are for the fun time. Not saying the older guys aren't fun but since I am a single mom I am a bit more structured then those who are 27 and no children meaning barely going on or even have interest in going out. I like being soccer mom and most of the younger guys want to be on the playstation not read or talk about world events. If it doesn't affect them now. At least how it is in my area for me. Enjoy this time and take it one day at a time.
Wow, thanks for your advise. I agree with you in the past I ran into the same relationship problems "men who need fixin" and with this guy I was not attracted to him at first but now after I have gotten to know him I foind myself attrated to him and god he is a really good guy.
Thanks
-Michelle
Thanks Marie you always have good advise. ( I changed my screen name just recently but do you remember michelle2123? well hello!lol)
I am going to take it very slow and see what happens. I am just a little nervous about if something does happen and a relationship forms how my daughters dad is going to react because this guy I have a crush on is close to his family. See eveyone else in my daughters dad's family would be ok with it meaning no drama, but I won't know how my ex would respond about me dating someone he knows. Now don't get me wrong my x and this guy aren't friends and hang out, but this guy that I am crushing on is really close to my x's uncle which is my daughters grandma's brother. oh boy!
-Michelle
LOL!!!!! you are funny. My daughter absolutley adores him. See no one (but you guys) knows that I have a crush on him, and out of the blue I asked my daughter what she thought of him and she said I love him he is awesome. See I always ran into problems with being a single mom and dating, because I have a rule that I don't let my daughter meet just anyone because I don't want to have diffrent men in and out of her life. And when I was in past relationships it was too exausting being a single mom and dating because I felt like I was being pulled in all diffrent directions. And the men couldn't handle me not being able to give them 200% of my attention to them.
But she already knows this guy and he already knows her , and he takes care of his nieces and nephews because his brother is in jail and the kids mom always pawns them off on him. So he has them like 4 days out of the week.
My daughters cousin said to me and him that we would be a cool couple and me and his eyes almost feel out of our heads and we started laughing. See I think he is like me he's afraid to say anything. But he told my daughters grandma yesturday that he likes me. God I feel like a kid. LOL!!!!
-Michelle
Oh yeah I will definalty let you know if anything ever becomes of this.
Thanks
-Michelle
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