Should I Go Thru With This??
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| Sun, 04-24-2005 - 5:47pm |
I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years, and we are very very serious. I know that he is the man I want to be with, I couldn't imagine my life without him. He has blatantly came out and said to me hundreds of times that he wants to marry me. (I am currently finishing school, he is done). Heres the problem:
I come from a very Catholic family, and he is Jewish. We have gotten in a few arguments about this. His mother was once Catholic, but converted when she married his father. He told me that he would expect me to convert, just like his mom did. I really do not want to do this, I don't feel that I should have to do that in order to be with him. I have had a concept for my entire life, and so has he. I don't feel that we need to change this in order to be together.
His father told him that if he allowed me to celebrate Christmas in our house and had children that celebrated Christmas, he would not speak to his son. My family thinks there is no problem observing both religions, they would be fine with me marrying a Jewish man. I asked my boyfriend what he thought about observing both of our religions. He said that he would not want to have kids that would celebrate Christian holidays and Jewish holidays, he wants a solidified family. After one of the arguments, he came out and said "at the end of the day, I don't care what religion you are, and I just want to be with you."
Is it worth continuing this relationship? Like I said before, I can't imagine not being with him and we love eachother very much...but I feel that if I do end up marrying him, his family is going to hate me.

I think you should let this one go. It would be different if he was open to the idea of observing both relgions (or even allowing you to continue with Christmas) but he is not open to that idea and that WILL NOT CHANGE, especially given his family's attitude.
I do understand that this must be devastating for you. But better you know now and move on then spend years fighting about something that cannot be solved. It would be different if you wanted to embrace Judiasm, but you do not, and I don't think that that is wrong, it is just who you are. I am Jewish (I was once married to a v. observant Jew and there were problems when it came to Christmas which we always celebrated in my house)and I would never convert to another religion because it is who I am.
I'm sorry for this very difficult situation you find yourself in, but love does NOT conquer all.
Best wishes,
Coolas