What happened to him?
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| Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:18am |
Hey, Okay so Some of you have read my other post.
But what do you think of this, i don't know if this just puts the cherry on the top and i should just go, or i should forgive and forget (sorry its a little long)
Okay Saturday my husband and I ended up renting at a hotel on the beach, nearby there is this seminole casino thing and his friends called him to go over there b/c they were going to a club and buying a bottle and whatever so i agreed, as we where going overthere he took 2 zanax and drank like 4 beers all in a matter of 1 hour. When we got there his speech was all slurred or w.e it didn't really bother me much b/c he was being very affectionate with me and hugging and kissing me but as the night went on he started to get stupid, at one point we were dancing and some woman would NOT get away from him i even asked him if he new her and he said no. i beleived him. so the night went on. He was falling over and his boss, him and I were all sitting at the table they were both drunk but i was actually Okay i was just a little tipsy so i heard them talking about his boss's ex gf and how my husband new her, well this guy infront of my face starts telling my husband, damn my e x girl was fine huh and he looks at my husband and says to him, "u didn't do anything with her right" ( no respect whatsoever that i was there) and my husband starts laughing and says No he didnt so w.e my husband wanted to keep dancing so he pulled me to the dance floor and as we are dancing he leans back on a counch and is like grinding with the couch and that same girl from b 4 comes up and starts griding on his leg, I was like "Oh hell no" so i push the girl and i grab my husband i said Lets GO outside RightNOW!.. so i go outside with him (he's totally drunk and doesn't even know what im talking about) so we leave his boss him and I and as im walking to the car his boss mentions his EX girl AGAIN!.. i got soo pissed I started walking in the other direction towards my car and i left my husband with his boss. His boss then starts to call me and tell me what was wrong i swear i felt like killing both of them. So after i cooled down and went to go supposedly pick up my husband at his boses car and hes not there so i called his boss and asked where they were they had gone back to the club!!!! I WAS PISSEDDD AGAIN!!!!!!!!!.. well luckely they didn't let my husband in b/c he was Too drunk .. so i was waiting outside and i grabbed my husband and pulled him in the car and left, when we got to the hotel he passed out on the porch so i grabbed him and pulled him in the room on the bed,
In the morning he said he didn't remember anything that the Zanax really hit him hard. So i told him the story and i told him that that was it, I was leaving him. And he started to cry and beg me that he is sorry that it will never happen again that he promises that he can't believe that happened, that he can't believe everything, so i told him that okay w/e i would stay that night, and the whole night he was pampering me and telling me how sorry he was ..
So in the end i don't know ?.. what should i do should i forgive him, this is the 2nd time this happens the first time it wasn't as bad.
Should i leave or forgive him? pls Help!

why is he taking it?
if he has to take it he should only take one at bed time with you and no alchol
i don't think he remember much if he took 2 xanax and 4 beers
tell him that if he wants you to stay he can not take xanax except at bedtime with you
not to get wasted
also, you can tell him you think his boss is disrespectful so he should only have a business relationship with him
no partying at night with him
he may not know the girl in the club
there are a lot of slutty girls in clubs, married men shouldn't be there alone
don't forgive him right away or he'll think he can do it again
tell him what you want
tell him he should never put himself in that position again where he is out of control
Your husband takes prescription medications and drinks to the point where he can't remember anything, and all you're worried about is being jealous of his drunken behavior with other women? Honey, it's time for a reality check. Your husband needs some substance abuse counseling, and you might benefit from it too. Maybe I was reading your post wrong, but I get the feeling you think this is perfectly normal stuff to do. It's not, and something bad is going to happen if it doesn't end.
From experience, my son was a benzodiazapine addict. Klonapins, Xanax...didn't matter. He also drank heavily with these drugs. He also acted like a lunatic and did things that he later didn't remember doing including stealing a friend's debit card and racking up over $500.00 on it. My son's drug use landed him in jail 3 times before he finally got the message and realized he had a problem. He's clean now, on probation and is subjected to random drug testing. But it was hell getting straightened out.
If you care about your husband at all you will get him help. Psychotropic drug use mixed with alcohol is not a good combination. You could wake up and find your husband dead in the bed next to you one day. If you get him off the drugs and heavy drinking I'll bet you'll find you won't have to worry about him pawing over other woman. You can't expect him to use good judgement when he's so bombed out of his mind he can't even get to bed without passing out on the porch.
And yes, if he refuses counseling then you're only alternative may be to leave him, otherwise your life with be a continual roller coaster of drug-induced behaviors and emotional hurts.
I'd have to agree with the previous poster. This really isn't something to get divorced over. It is, however, something to be concerned about, mostly because he shouldn't be taking Xanax with any sort of alcohol. And two xanax's? What is going on there? If he's taking Xanax, legally, I would tell him he needs to go back to the doc, or even see a shrink. If he's taking it for "real" purposes, or for "fun" purposes, you need to ask yourself, is it an addiction? a drug for him to have fun with?
Lastly. If he wants to make good with you on this. I would suggest, NO bars, or if you go to bars, no more than 1-2 drinks each. No going with his boss anymore, they need to keep that r'ship strictly professional. I mean, it sounds like his boss WANTS him to hook up with his xgf, and that's just wrong.
Hugs. Start there, with him not drinking so much, and ONLY using Xanax at night, when you're there with him and NO ONE else.