Does This Still Matter? Income Disparity

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Registered: 03-19-2003
Does This Still Matter? Income Disparity
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Mon, 04-25-2005 - 12:04pm

Today's Topic: Does This Still Matter? Income Disparity

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 7:02pm

I'm with whoever wrote this...I personally could care less how much a guy makes (so long as he's financially responsible) because I make enough to support myself and I don't mind taking turns with treating each other (and could care less if the "treats" are disparate due to the difference in income), but it matters A LOT to most men.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-04-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 8:15pm
You know what?! I had an argument with my boyfriend over the siliest thing today, but I think that deep down what bothers him right now is that I nailed this great job a month ago and I'm now making more money than him. It is a huge shock to him since I actually doubled my salary and he was used to be the richest one of us, i.e. the one to pick up the tab at the restaurant. Personnally, I don't care how much he makes as long as the relationship is great; we don't live together so what if I'm more financially stable and independant than before? But I do think it matters to him, he wants to provide. I wouldn't be surprised if things get rough for us just because of my salary, which is sad...
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2004
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 9:12pm

Very interesting your findings, Marie. If I'm interpreting your non-scientific poll correctly ('cause, hey, there wasn't a double-blind to be found!), MOST women don't care what a man contributes financially so long as he's happy w/what he's doing; on the other hand, MOST men said they have to make more, period--narry a mention whether the woman was happy in her chosen endeavor. Interesting, indeed.

What I've learned is that men identify themselves by the job they hold and the money they make. Women, however, identify themselves by what they contribute to society--and that isn't always measured in dollars and cents--good thing!

To answer your question, though, money means nothing to me--it's a tool. I've learned it's best not to identify myself w/how much of it I have versus how much I don't. My mission is to give away much more of it than I keep. And, then, every time I turn around around God throws buckets of it at me--ack!!! Too much responsibility....I keep giving it away.

I realize there are those of you who are reading this that wish you were in my situation....I did too until I found myself where I am. Money means nothing. People mean everything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-24-2005
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 12:59am

I heartily agree with your view on money (though I don't make it a point to give most of it away...at least to strangers or non-immediate family). Money is only important when you don't have it. When you have it, it really isn't a big deal

Personally, if my wife made $70K more than me, I'd happily be a stay at home dad. I don't think it would bother me a bit. Parenting is my primary job, work is just something I do for money. I work and my wife stays home only because I make more money.

I think that most guys are intimidated by women who make more money. I probably would have been before I had children myself.

Jon

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 5:01am

my xbf made a lot less. we lived together for a while and split the rent 60-40 because i wanted to live in a nicer place than he could afford. i don't think the money issue contributed to our break-up. he was a high-powered guy - certainly could've pursued a higher income if he wanted, but he believed in what he was doing. if he were less educated than me and had less earning potential for that reason, i think that would have been a bigger issue.

current bf now makes significantly more than me. he waited 8 months into our relationship before he let on, because he wanted to be sure that i loved him for him. that's the other danger with an income disparity - wondering if your SO is more into you because of your money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-06-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 11:41am
Oh my! This will be brief because I'm at work. Just wanted to say that I thought I was the only one who felt this way in Corporate America. . That has always been me. Sometimes I used to think I was crazy for feeling the way I do - so glad I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing your view.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 1:45pm

Being the woman I am today, I'd rather have the guy make more money than me, MUCH more would be preferable.


Most men I was dating, wouldn't date me if I made more than them, and yes, they'd act like wounded animals until they could make more. dbf would prefer to make more, but he said, if I can make more than he will/can/does, then he'll be happy, cuz then that'd mean we'd be bringing in a quarter million. lol. However, he doesn't care.


lastly. as long as we're not struggling for a semi-decent life, I don't care what he makes, nor what I do, as long as we're happy doing it.


I've seen too many ppl miserable, to "support" a family, or "make money". It's just not worth it. One example would be bf's father. He worked a job he HATED for 20 years, to support his family. Although honorable, what a way to waste a life.


But then again, I don't think you sacrifice your life and happiness for anyone (including a child - to a point).


(am i whacked or what? lol)






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