Ex got married, why not me...

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Ex got married, why not me...
6
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 12:18pm

Does it hurt when you find out an ex has gotten married? Not any ex, but an ex you had deep feelings for/ was in love with and you both didn't have a bad breakup just situation and circumstance made you have to go your seperate ways. Do you wonder what could have been between you two?


I ask, because I found out an ex had gotten married I was very happy for him. He is doing great where he is and then I conversation as usual got to how we were and we laughed and had our good times as usual. This is someone I never lost contact with and knew he was dating and everything. But, when we finished talking my head got to going. I started thinking of some instances we had talked about when were together and how if I would have done this then he'd be with me and there. I soon snapped out of it because neither of us may not be where we are or who we are now if our paths had never crossed or became as good of friends as we have. So I just wondered how others felt when they find out, do the wonder or am I just crazy like that, lol...

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2005
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 1:44pm

i felt very numb when i found out my x was getting married. It is a jagged little pill to swollow, that's for sure. However, be thankfull that you guys are still friends, you are obviously still important to him as he is to you. time of course will heal all pain. sometimes it just takes longer than you would like.

you are not alone in this. i dare say that all us women are pretty much the same.

good luck, chin up

Reba

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 1:50pm
Thanks Reba....
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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 2:08pm

I am not really friends with any of my x's, and therefore, don't know if any of them have ever married or remarried. HOWEVER, if I heard about my x's remarrying, depending on which ones they were, would I care.


But to be honest, I think I have moved on enough, that I wouldn't care, and wouldn't feel any sort of hurt/pain etc.


However, I would never assume, cuz you never know, I may break down and cry. lol.






my pet!




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 4:44pm
I spent 3 years with my first love...one that was never consummated, by the way. Loved him dearly. Because of my own stupidity I cost myself that relationship. It haunted every single relationship I ever had, b/c I expected the rest to live up to him. Impossible. I didn't let it affect them, he was just always in the back of my mind. I even dreamed about him occasionally. We recently resumed contact after almost 30 years and it was sooo strange to hear his voice again. Like myself, he has been married for almost 25 years to the same person. I became widowed during the time we had resumed communication. NOW I'm involved with a man 10yrs my junior.....I never think about my first love. I met the person who has surpassed my wildest dreams. I count myself so fortunate (my SO thinks HE'S the lucky one, little does he know) to have this man in my life. Just goes to show...there's more than one great love for all of us. Now finding it...there's the crux. Becky
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-10-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 5:05pm
I totally hear you. I have an ex who I dated at 3 different points in my life because the timing was never right. He was always ready for a relationship, but I was always on the go, away at college, in this country or that country. At one point he asked me, "When are you going to be home for good?" i said I don't know. And that was that. We finally lost touch about 3 years ago. I'm not sure whether or not he's married, but I wouldn't doubt it. I wouldn't be hurt, but I would be a little jealous! The funny thing is that I am in a wonderful relationship with a guy i hope I will marry. But I still can't help but wonder what could have been with my ex if we had just been in the same place at the same time. I try to tell myself that it just wasn't meant to be.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 5:48pm
Right, you both had your time together and that is how I feel. He use to tell me I'd wake up one day and be like I can't believe I married you after all this. lol Because we were never in the same place at the same time. But, I am very happy for him all the same. I will be seeing him soon when he comes back to town to visit his children. So, now I have a reason to shop and get them a gift.
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