What's the deal???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2005
What's the deal???
2
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:05pm
Hi Guys....I surely hope someone can help me a little....I have an interesting situation...I started going out with my boyfriend about 4 months ago...At the beginning we used to go on a date and then I would go home....Then I started to stay at his house once a week or so....Then it started to be that I would be there when he was off from work....Then, we went on a cruise....really got to know each other....We came back from the cruise, had a great time...Didn't have one arguement...and since we have been back, I have been there everynight....When I work, I usually go home to my house afterwards...or when he works, I go home....Lately, I have been getting out of work and going to his house....and he has been working late hours and asking me if I want to go there and he will wake me when he gets home. What does this sort of thing mean??? I am at his place more than I am home but, I am not living there....WHat should the next step for me be?? Or should I wait for him??
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 1:17am
You must learn that women plan things. "If I stay there then it will lead to this--" Men just think "if she's there I can get free sex." Simple. He isn't thinking any further then that.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 1:22pm

I'd have to partially agree with the other poster. Men don't think in future terms, women do. If you think you want more, and/or are wondering what is going on, it's time to talk. Time to talk about exclusivity, about future wants. About if you plan on living together, or not, or if the situation is okay for the both of you.


You do NOT want to, however, fall into a pattern, which you FEEL will lead somewhere, when you haven't talked to him about it.


i.e. many women (and some men too), move in with someone assuming it'll lead to marriage. Most men, move in cuz it's conveinant (not always just about sex) at the time and works for him. Most men do not think about the future when they move on. So, a few years down the line, the women is posting on the boards, crying about how her dbf hasn't proposed and they've been living together for 2-3 years now, and nothing.....and yet, she's never said one word to him about HER wants/needs nor asked him what HE wants or needs.


So, talk to him. Tell him you're there all the time, you dn't live together, it's time to ask yourselves, where is this going, what do you want, etc. If you do stay there more, will it lead to something more serious? does he want soemthing more serious? what does "living togheter" mean to him?


blah blah blah.


does that make sense? Repitition breeds expectations. don't expect smoething if you ahven't talked about it.






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