!!!!!!PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
!!!!!!PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!
15
Mon, 04-25-2005 - 10:31pm
Read carefully and pay attention. OK my names Alison I’m 19. Jess is 19 Brandon and Tommy are twin 17 year olds. Adam is 18. And we all work together.
For the last 2 years everything I’ve ever done has revolved around Jesse. We’ve been friends since we met and things were great until he found out how much I liked him. Things happened and we grew apart. We still aren’t the same but we did talk more. Last week I wrote him a letter as follows .....We’ve been friends for some time now. Remember last year how somebody told you that I had a crush on you. Well yah I still do. Things changed after you found out and I never wanted that to happen. You’re a great guy and you keep me laughing. People told me I needed to put all of my emotions on the table and tell you exactly how I feel. I can’t tell you face to face cause it would be really awkward. I don’t expect your feelings to change I just really need you to know. I hope we don’t become even more distant and can remain friends...... Well yah I haven’t seen him cause he’s on vacation. So I don’t know how he’s going to react but then there’s Brandon. He’s a lot like me.... shy with an underlying WILD side. I really like him to but... he’s not Jesse. Brandon told a mutual friend at work that he’s interested at me. I’m a nervous wreck cause nobody’s ever been interested in me before I’ve never had a boyfriend. He’s.. well shy and a little afraid of talking to girls so he won’t come up to me and ask me out and I’m a dork and won’t do it either. Our friend gave him my screen name but he said he doesn’t have AIM. Which is a lie cause I have brothers SN. So now I don’t know what to do it will be 3 more days till I see Jesse and 2 or three day till I see Brandon. So who knows what the hell is going on. And well Adam yah almost forgot him. I just want to have straight out meaningless sex with him. Oh and by the way Adam, Brandon, and I are all virgins. Jesse is not. Which makes me nervous. I can’t wait to have a relationship. But I really don’t know what to do. HELP!!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 1:07am
The first thing you can do is calm down. You act like you have one hour to live! The only reason your all crazy with these guys is because they are in front of your face at work every day. Half of the world population is male and that's ALOT of guys. If Jesse pulled back when he heard you liked him it means he's just not into you. That's the title of a book and you should go out of your way to get it. HE'S JUST NOT INTO YOU. It will change the way you think for the better and take all the mystery out of guys forever. Anyway, Jesse is not interested and maybe it's because you come on too excited like you did in your post. Maybe he's gay or he likes a different type of girl. If your tall he may like short. If your short he may like tall. Either way forget him. As for the meaningless sex, it will just make you look trampy to the other guys and may get you a disease if your not careful. Slow down. Try to be a calmer person. Guys LOVE to be the one to chase a girl. When you chase them they see you as a sex maniac or a nut stalker. There are millions of guys in the world waiting for you so slow down and choose carefully.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 4:11am

oh dear! boy-drama can be lots of fun, as long as you don't let yourself take any of it too seriously. :)

i agree with mokrie about jesse. your letter is not going to make him like you. it might make things even weirder between you, so try to prepare yourself for that. don't feel bad. i have written some truly ill-advised letters in my day, too. i've learned over time: if you can't say something face-to-face, you're going to regret that you said it in a letter. that's just how it always seems to work out.

i think you should go for it with brandon. ask him to a party or something. if he likes you, he'll get his act together and take it from there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 12:54pm
Brandon and I talked to each other last night for over an hour & a half. And well were going to the movies on Saturday. I'm really excited.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 2:11pm
Calm down, the world's not coming to an end...Why in the world would you want to have meaningless sex with anyone? You have no idea what it is. What you have is something you give away only once in your life. You should choose the person you give it to carefully. The person you love and that loves you back and realizes the treasure you hold would be a nice choice. You've got the cookie jar and all men want the cookie. I'd be careful who was munching on mine. You might think that the sex would be meaningless but the inexperienced (I'm not slamming you here) tend to involve emotion where there isn't any when it comes to sex. Don't let loose easily. Make sure it's special, with someone who means something to you. And more importantly, you to them. It's something you'll never forget and you want the memory to be a good one, don't you??
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Tue, 04-26-2005 - 10:25pm
I don't want replies telling me to wait to have sex. I love Jesse cause he's a great friend I could talk to him about anything. After he slept with my all time enemy, things got crappy pretty quick. I am very sexually attracted to Jesse. I'm not really sexually attracted to Brandon. He's a really sweet guy but.... except sports we have NOTHING in common. He likes rap. I like punk/rock. Hes a junior in high school I'm a freshman in college. Neither of us have prior relationship though. He's like 5'6" I'm 5'9". Jesse's the kind of guy thats happy and carefree. He like a giant teddy bear. That everyone loves. After two and a half years of loving him and friendship I can't just shake him off like a fly. My heart still burns every time I see him. I think about him all day. I know he doesn't like me the way I like him, today he had the oppurtunity to talk to me today but he didn't. Jesse's more of a badboy, Brandon's a little less badboyish. I dunno I guess we'll see how Saturday night goes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2005
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 9:58am
Let me get this straight...you want to have uncommitted sex with a guy who doesn't like you as much as you like him, am I right? And you don't want anyone telling you to wait to have sex. I'm a tell it like it is person so bear with me. I don't ever mean to anger anyone or to hurt feelings but sometimes it happens anyway. The scenario you're setting yourself up for is doomed for failure. You are going to feel used in the end. If your heart burns whenever you see him how do you think you're going to feel after you've been intimate with the guy?? And with him not feeling the same way you do...you're setting yourself up for heartache. So the other guy is a freshman in high school, you have all these differences. Just how many men are there in the world? Last count, waaay more than what is in your little world right now. What's wrong with waiting until you find the man who's going to treasure every inch of you, mind body and soul and you him?? Do you think that won't happen? You haven't really landed in the world yet..you are going to meet so many people in your life. It just doesn't sound like this guy is worthy of what you have to offer. I just hate to see people get hurt. I know it's part of life and growing up but these boards are so full of pain...Do yourself a favor and listen to some of the great advice you're being given. No doubt they've already "been there, done that"...Good luck to you, sweetie...Becky
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Wed, 04-27-2005 - 3:14pm

My two cents....


Have sex with whomever you want. Date whomever you want. Do whatever you want. Live and learn.


Cuz no one here will chnage your mind about what you're going to do. BTDT. No one could've stopped me from screwing 10 guys at my work. So, go forth and use protection.






my pet!




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 7:57pm

I'm sorry I may have came across like a B*tch the other day I really didn't mean it. I know I tend to think with my hormones and not my mind. And with Brandon I don't know what I was thinking by saying I'd go out with him. I just feel like I am setting him up to be hurt. I'm not all that interested in him. The other day he came in to work 3 times to see me. I dunno Saturdays the big day we'll see how things go. I have seen Jesse twice since giving him that note and he avoids me when at all possible. He was helping a lady get stuff off a high shelf and I looked up just as he looked over my way and when our eyes met he stopped smiling and got this really uncomfortable look on his face. I screwed things up AGAIN. Things were getting normal between us and I tore all that progress up. Every time I see him I wish I could have taken it all back. I don't know if I wanna slap him around or cry.
If anyone cause any comments on personals websites, I love to hear about it. I know all the "be careful" stuff. Theres some people I've found on Yahoo personals that seem worth my time so I dunno.

And cherbear what does BTDT mean?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2003
Thu, 04-28-2005 - 8:28pm

BTDT = Been There, Done That.


Look, if you want some good advice, you'll listen and really think about what I have to say.




my pet!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-20-2004
Tue, 05-03-2005 - 11:18pm
Ok well we didn't go out Saturday.... we just never made final plans then I worked and things got busy. I dunno. Brandon is really acting wierd. He's more comfortable around me but denies he he likes me to his friends. I dunno I do like him though. I dunno if I should be waiting around for him or if I'm just waisting my time. I want him to put the moves on me. Call me old fashioned but I want him to be in charged of making things work.

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