Needing Advice
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| Wed, 04-27-2005 - 5:42pm |
Hello,
I'm a lurker, I like to read posts, but never say anything. I have posted once or twice, but not too often. I have a dilemna. First of all, I am in the process of divorce. Hopefully, it will go through, but I have been separated since Dec 03. Anyways, I work with this guy (and just so that you know, he's the owner), and he's my client. I have liked him for almost a year & a half now. And nothing. We flirt, I think we flirted, not very experienced, I married my one & only boyfriend. That was 14 years ago. Now I am 32, and don't have a clue. To make a long story short, this past Sunday, I decided to go to church, this guy, asked why I don't go anymore. So, I decided, I'd better get back into church. So, I called him when I arrived, and it turns out that he was arriving at the same time. We sat together and talked. We always talk, but we really talked. The thing that bothers me is that he always talks about his ex-girlfriends. He'll tell me I am attractive, that I can get anyone I want. But, he'll sit there and talk to me about other women. He doesn't know that I like him, I'm guessing. But, he told me that he really wants to get married and have kids. It seems that every time we talk, it's about things like this. Now granted, we flirt occassionally, he asks me alot of personal questions, about my divorce, and what I am doing on the weekends, weeknights, and anytime that I am away from work. He says that it would bother him if he were dating me because, he feels that my soon-to-be ex-husband sees my daughter too often (every day). He says that he'd prefer that the guy has the child less often. He also dropped other subtle hints, about things. Such as, he would only approach a girl, if he had a clue that they were interested. We talked about this for 3 hours, because after church, he invited me to lunch with him. I am very attracted to this guy. I can't show any emotions, or feelings, because, I am scared. I don't want to be rejected or get my feelings hurt. Help, what do you guys think? I can't ask my mother, who seems to have an alterior motive . She convinced me to get a divorce, and now she's against me dating, can't win for losing with her. So, I just need to know, if a guy talks to a woman about other woman, is this a total lack of interest. I am getting mixed signals. I would appreciate advice.
Thanks,
Mysterious32

mysterious32...
Pianoguy likes your name.
Pianoguy,
Thanks for your response. I do think he is very descent. He is a Christian, and I do think that might be one of the reasons why he may be holding back. After I posted this on to the message board (I was still at work), I had a meeting with him. We talked about work, and then the conversation went to us looking at websites for resorts. He never directly asked me to go, but he asked me what I thought, and would I enjoy a vacation like this. He showed me the rates, and looked at schedules. I told that it would be a good way for me to celebrate. He insisted that I tell him, what would I be celebrating, and I told him my divorce.
I can wait, and be satisfied if this is the only reason he holds back. I can always respect a man, that respects the sacrament of marriage. There are very few guys left that do.
I thought about his mentioning the ex-girlfriends, and he'd go through each one, telling me what went wrong, and how he felt about them. He told me exactly what he is looking for. He wants to be married right away, and he wants kids. He's feeling pressured by time. I guess to say the least, he wasn't rude, or talking about missing any of his old relationships, just kinda' giving me insight into what he wants, it just made me feel uncomfortable talking about it. Because I like him, and I want him to know, and I can't come right out,and say it. I don't know, I always thought that if a guy talks to a woman about other woman, there's no way that he can be interested.
Just a thought...
Thanks,
Mysterious32