Need some advice
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| Tue, 05-03-2005 - 11:47am |
ok, I have been away from my sons father for 4 1/2 yrs. I have had my son in therapy over his BS. Now, I am trying to be mature and do this parenting right by allowing my son to spend a month with his dad. Well, the problems we had before seem to be resurfacing. My son takes it hard when we argue but we argue whenever we talk. SO right now we are not talking but now he is saying comments to my son I think should be addressed. Like yesterday he is like "tell your mom I want a kiss" or another time tell her "I am ready to move back home" or "tell her I still love her".
For a long while my son thought it was my fault because I was the one to leave and his dad would say I he wanted us back together. Me not trying to give him all the details of the infiedlity, the arguing, the maddness. I just resolved it to my son we argue. Well his dad goes and says we will not argue. Yea next time I saw him it was the same thing. I am screwing half the world or I like women. Whatever to feed his ego that he is better off without me.
Well, with all this going on I am not trying to send my son back to therapy plus this is coming out my pocket. His dad does not pay child support (my choice so he can get on his feet and give him a chance to be a man and take care of him) so this is all funded by me. Should I put a halt on it again say forget the trip in July and cut the phone contact or should I try and talk to his dad first?


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I was wondering, how old is this son? Also, since I have no kids, don't listen to me. I was going to say though, if he's old enough to understand, maybe it's time to tell him the truth. So he can understand where you're coming from and his father.
Or. Let him learn what his dad is all about by being around him. I know my co-worker has 3 kids with a woman (he has full custody). They alwyas thought he was the bad guy, but as they got older (high school age), they realized how their mom TRULY was, so they just let dad off the hook...finally. Like you, he felt it was better to make sure they THINK they're mom is a nice person, until they can find out the truth for themselves.
BTW, the mom is irresponsible, selfish, has no respect for anyone but herself, blah blah blah. and nope, didn't even fight for the kids, instead, just gave them away (they don't know that though).
good luck.
Okay, yeah, at that age. It may be a bit much for him to know the whole story, and be with his dad for a month....since I'm assuming he hasn't spent that much time since YOU were with your x, 4.5 years ago?
I'd rethink it too. Hugs and good luck.
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