I spoke too soon
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I spoke too soon
| Wed, 05-04-2005 - 10:41am |
Hi All:
So this is the deal. LIke I mentioned yesterday I got back with my ex and verything is great blah, blah, blah. Il ove this guy more than anything in this world. When we were first together he was so wonderful to me like a knight in shining armor. Once we broke up he was a jerk. Slamming doors, cursing at me, hanging up on me, telling me awful things, caring less if I cried a river in front of him, ignoring me at clubs, etc. I accepted this because I was like well we're broken up and he never treated like htis when we were together. I felt deep in my heart that I deserved it because well I was so mean to him when we were together, I would use him for his money, insult his friends, tell him he was a loser drunk even though he never drank after rehab, take him to clubs that I knew my ex would be at b/c I was so infatuated with my ex., get text messages from other guys, well you name it and I did it...I was heartless so I accepted his anger once we broke up. When we were apart I suffered and worked on my ways. I really wanted to get down to the core as to why I would treat someone I loved that way. I received a lot of clarity. I worked on so many aspects of my life and a so much of a better person in my eyes and in those of the loved ones around me. Anyhow, my b/f works crazy hours! I mean I work 10-6 M-F he works 2-11 PM M-F and then Sat like 7AM -7PM then plays football all day sunday on a league. He comes to see me after work during the week for maybe like a half hr. On the weekend we spend all our time together once he is out of work or done with football. Well yesterday he was supposed to come over and he was like how his frined blew his back out and he needed to go help him sheet rock the apt. I said why is he sheet rocking if he cant even walk? COmmon sense is wait until you are better to fix an apt not when you blow ur back out. My B/F was like he will come by later to see me . I was like i'm going ot bed he was like your a child. I felt bad so I called him like around 11:30 and he didn't answer so I called again and still no answer. I texted him and I received a return receipt but he didnt text me back. I was furious!!!!!! So I drove by his house b/c I was like he will probably say that he just went home and fell asleep b/c all guys run that line! SO I drive by and he had just pulled up. So I say what's up, why didn't you answer before? He said I left my phone in the car b/c I didnt want to deal with your babiness. I was like okay that's real mature. He was like you think I'm always doing wrong yet I never cheated on you. This is true but if you give a guy too much space they will cheat...proven fact! So I said you know what goodnight. THen when i got home I called him and said I know yougot my text b/c I got a return receipt so why are you lying? HE was like I'm not lying and think what you want. I didn't come back to this relationship to deal with your insecurity. I was like what?I said I thought he was being one sided and not puttting himself in my shoes! We said goodnight and that was it. I'm hurt and full of doubt because I think this sounds suspicious. WHat do you all think?
So this is the deal. LIke I mentioned yesterday I got back with my ex and verything is great blah, blah, blah. Il ove this guy more than anything in this world. When we were first together he was so wonderful to me like a knight in shining armor. Once we broke up he was a jerk. Slamming doors, cursing at me, hanging up on me, telling me awful things, caring less if I cried a river in front of him, ignoring me at clubs, etc. I accepted this because I was like well we're broken up and he never treated like htis when we were together. I felt deep in my heart that I deserved it because well I was so mean to him when we were together, I would use him for his money, insult his friends, tell him he was a loser drunk even though he never drank after rehab, take him to clubs that I knew my ex would be at b/c I was so infatuated with my ex., get text messages from other guys, well you name it and I did it...I was heartless so I accepted his anger once we broke up. When we were apart I suffered and worked on my ways. I really wanted to get down to the core as to why I would treat someone I loved that way. I received a lot of clarity. I worked on so many aspects of my life and a so much of a better person in my eyes and in those of the loved ones around me. Anyhow, my b/f works crazy hours! I mean I work 10-6 M-F he works 2-11 PM M-F and then Sat like 7AM -7PM then plays football all day sunday on a league. He comes to see me after work during the week for maybe like a half hr. On the weekend we spend all our time together once he is out of work or done with football. Well yesterday he was supposed to come over and he was like how his frined blew his back out and he needed to go help him sheet rock the apt. I said why is he sheet rocking if he cant even walk? COmmon sense is wait until you are better to fix an apt not when you blow ur back out. My B/F was like he will come by later to see me . I was like i'm going ot bed he was like your a child. I felt bad so I called him like around 11:30 and he didn't answer so I called again and still no answer. I texted him and I received a return receipt but he didnt text me back. I was furious!!!!!! So I drove by his house b/c I was like he will probably say that he just went home and fell asleep b/c all guys run that line! SO I drive by and he had just pulled up. So I say what's up, why didn't you answer before? He said I left my phone in the car b/c I didnt want to deal with your babiness. I was like okay that's real mature. He was like you think I'm always doing wrong yet I never cheated on you. This is true but if you give a guy too much space they will cheat...proven fact! So I said you know what goodnight. THen when i got home I called him and said I know yougot my text b/c I got a return receipt so why are you lying? HE was like I'm not lying and think what you want. I didn't come back to this relationship to deal with your insecurity. I was like what?I said I thought he was being one sided and not puttting himself in my shoes! We said goodnight and that was it. I'm hurt and full of doubt because I think this sounds suspicious. WHat do you all think?

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This is harsh, but what have you learned while away from your bf? Because, it seems, that whatever you learned, you're not ACTING on those new found better ways.
I have to agree with Woe, you ARE becoming a nightmare, and he does NOT need to deal with YOUR insecurities. If I was him, I probably would've done the same thing, to not have to deal with you and your issues. And yes, they ARE YOUR issues.
You really need to rethink if you can handle being with someone and maybe, start TRULY working on yourself. You just proved to him that nothing has chnaged in regards to your behavior, and that you ARE still the same insecure, assuming, jumping to conclusions gf he had before you two ended things.
If you are to make this work, you are going to have to CONTROL your impulses to "jump him", accuse him, get in his face, etc, etc, etc. No one, and I repeat NO ONE wants a woman who acts like that. You
You already had a problem with him helping a friend, who knows why it had to be done then but he was helping him. I would have left my phone in the car also. No time to keep it knowing you will call and hold us up on getting things done. Doesn't seem suspcious to me. Seems he helped a friend you had a problem with it so he probably figured wait till I get home to deal with this. You have no reason to question like he said he has never cheated, why so insecure now? You've waited all this time for him to come back, he came back willingly why would he cheat.
Also in the first post what struck me was the comment about giving a guy to much space he will cheat. And it is proof. I do not think so, guys are free for all. Some cheat some do not. I've known guys who will wait year on the one the love. Many people are in sexless marriages but because the wife doesn't give them sex but once a month/year they do not cheat just deal with it.
You are in such denial it's ridiculous. So what if he left his phone in his car? It's his phone - if he wants to leave it that's his right. And he was clearly right to do it because look how you're acting. I'd be avoiding your drama, too. And so what if his friend wants to drywall his apartment after he threw his back out? I'm assuming that's why your bf was going over to help him - so his friend didn't have to do it. What about that doesn't make sense? And why is it any of your business, much less your right, to get mad about something his friend wants to do, retarded or not?
You think we've missed parts of your post, but the reality is we've read every word and we think you're a nightmare. If I was your bf I'd be outta there so fast you wouldn't know what happened. I come to these boards and am constantly amazed at some people's behavior and the resulting look where you can't believe you're being dumped. Amazing.
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