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| Mon, 07-11-2005 - 10:36am |
My boyfriend told me the other day that he needs a break,a month or two, and then he said we will see if it's ment to be. He says this break is needed since we both have baggage from our last relationships. He told me he still likes me when I asked him, but he needs time, yet during this break he still wants to hang out with me and all, just like nothing is different.
It's really hard for me since I have deep feelings for him but I'm considering just acting casual for the one or two months that he suggested, after which he said we'd see if it was ment to be or not.
It's super hard since I've known him for ages..but I'm just wondering if there is still a chance for us or not? Also, I need to know if I should call him like he said, for he really sounded sincere and urging me to keep in touch...and I've never known him to lie to me about feelings.
Thanks

My question for him would be, are we still being monogamous and exclusive to each other, or will you be dating?
I think if he wants a break from the seriousness of the r'ship, but still wants to hang out as friends, it'll only make your life pure hell during the 1-2 months. You don't think it will, but when you go out, can't hold his hand, can't hug him, nor kiss him, nor cuddle. How will that make you feel?
Also, if he expects you to still do all the above, and even have sex (if you are already), then wtf is the break for?
It sounds like he wants his cake and to eat it too. I would seriously ask for some "rules" because what if he comes back with the "we were on a break" bit and had sex or fooled around with another woman (like ross and rachel on friends)?
I'd protect yourself in this. Hugs. It may not end up bad, but I'd cover all bases, just in case he tries to pull a fast one on you.
Hugs.
~pineapple_girl
I agree with Pineapple. Figure out just exactly what he means by break. If he means, he still wants all the benefits of being in a relationship with you without the commitment I would just end it. Frankly, it sounds like he's looking to see what else is out there or even find something new before he gives up the benfits of having you.
Also, he wanted the break if he wants contact with you I would let him be the one to initiate it. If he legitimately just needs some space you don't want to crowd him.
Of course, my honest opinion is "breaks" are BS. If you love someone, I don't think you need to test it to figure it out.
SO, in my opinion, taking a break is a horrible idea. Just call it breaking up and move on with it. If you guys are meant to get back together, you will. But taking a break, to me, was definitely harder than just a regular break up.
'We need to take a break' = 'I don't want to be with you anymore but am too much of a coward to come right out and say it'. I thought that was common knowledge.. unless you are very young you really don't have an excuse not to understand that the minute someone mentions a break what you need to do is kind of counteract and finish with them - for the sake of your dignity if nothing else. My honest opinion.
I am not sure if I agree with that last post, twinsister70!