falling for him more and more each day
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falling for him more and more each day
| Wed, 08-10-2005 - 3:04pm |
well i posted on here i think back in june about a guy friend that i had liked since i met him but we kinda started not even being friends then he came back from west pac and things are soooo great. we are kinda dating i guess you could call it. we always go out together and with our bestfriends who are engaged. he stays at my house a few times a week. he totally acts like he likes me more than just for what we got going. well he told my b.f sister whose like my sister, so ill call her my sister, that there was never going to be a "sara and david" and she said so then your just leading her on and he said yea i guess if thats what im doing. but later he denied ever saying that and he said i was the one using him and she told him that i have liked him since the day i met him but he was being an ass and then now said he was just using me so i said i was using him well anyways so he denied that hes just using me and he knows i like him a whole lot and would be in a real b.f g.f relationship with him in a heartbeat but we have never talked about it...im too chicken to bring it up and hes well...a guy lol
so forgetting about all that i have just been going with the flow having fun with him when we are together not pushing anything about being together....well now he has this girl and her friends that are coming down to visit him! and this girl always talks about how hes cute and the "freaky" things they are going to do together and all this other stuff and it makes me so mad cuz i like him so much. but im too scared to tell him david you idiot i like you why arent we together together....
i dont know what to do. well i know what i should do, tell him. but i know thats not going to happen. hes the only guy i am seeing and im the only girl hes actually seeing, the other girls he just talks to they dont live down here by us, sometimes i wonder if im just waisting my time. he knows how much i like him but hes still doing these things, that he knows ill hear about i mean my best friend is engaged to his best friend they tell each other everything and she tells me or even her fiance will tell me cuz we are really close too. sometimes i wonder if this is all just a waist of my time and a waist of opening up to him and giving him a piece of my heart that at this point hes just breaking everytime i hear about this girl. i wish i could just stop seeing him just completely stop everything to see if he just lets go also or if he eventually says what happen he liked me alot or something...but thats so hard i fall for this guy more and more everytime i see him, i havent done that with anyone since my ex and i broke up almost a year ago the other guys have just been, fun i guess but im actually falling for this guy....im so confused. i hope this made some kinda sense i just need some opionions on what you guys think...
so forgetting about all that i have just been going with the flow having fun with him when we are together not pushing anything about being together....well now he has this girl and her friends that are coming down to visit him! and this girl always talks about how hes cute and the "freaky" things they are going to do together and all this other stuff and it makes me so mad cuz i like him so much. but im too scared to tell him david you idiot i like you why arent we together together....
i dont know what to do. well i know what i should do, tell him. but i know thats not going to happen. hes the only guy i am seeing and im the only girl hes actually seeing, the other girls he just talks to they dont live down here by us, sometimes i wonder if im just waisting my time. he knows how much i like him but hes still doing these things, that he knows ill hear about i mean my best friend is engaged to his best friend they tell each other everything and she tells me or even her fiance will tell me cuz we are really close too. sometimes i wonder if this is all just a waist of my time and a waist of opening up to him and giving him a piece of my heart that at this point hes just breaking everytime i hear about this girl. i wish i could just stop seeing him just completely stop everything to see if he just lets go also or if he eventually says what happen he liked me alot or something...but thats so hard i fall for this guy more and more everytime i see him, i havent done that with anyone since my ex and i broke up almost a year ago the other guys have just been, fun i guess but im actually falling for this guy....im so confused. i hope this made some kinda sense i just need some opionions on what you guys think...

i am finally happy with my self the way that i am single and free to mingle...i dont need a boyfriend i am 19 years old a college student with lots of goals and i am content having dates and guy friends and not a boyfriend...yea ill continue seeing this guy but its no big deal anymore i can deal that he doesnt want to be my boyfriend i knew i couldnt change him it just took me time to realize it...when im meant to be with one guy then it will happen but until then im not going to sit around waiting for a guy to call, a guy who doesnt see or just doesnt want all the great things i have to offer, apparently he doesnt deserve me. when an opportunity arises to meet a new guy or to hang out with someone else im going to take it...i give my love away at no cost all too often and im done with that i deserve someone who wants me as much as i want them and appreciates me for what i am and what i can offer them. im just a girl with a big heart that puts her self out there way too easily and way to quickly....so in the mean time no boyfriends for me just friends and when it happens it will happen. i know some people might say that theres no way i can continue seeing this guy and have this all not matter to me that i am going to keep falling for him but i have spent a lot of time thinking and have heard a lot of things i never thought about before and i have put it all in to perspective...i know what i want in a guy in a boyfriend and when i find him it will be great but in the mean time im just going to have fun and focus on school and my dreams that i havent focused on as much as i should have. so for once i am finally happy being an "indpendant women" i dont need a guy to make me happy