More Than One Girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
More Than One Girl
5
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 3:38pm

I met a guy. One I'd known from years past. We immediately had a connection. We began talking and found out that we'd both gotten out of serious relatoinships recently. We decided that we really didn't want to get back into a serious relationship right away and we'd take things slowly. So I've been trying to. Met him one evening to talk. Since then, he's called everyday, three times a day. We talk longer and longer each night. He says he is really happy we've gotten back into this friend thing. But he still wants to take it slow. Then he said he had s**** to clean up before we could start on us. Last night he called, and told me he wanted to be completely honest with me. He told me that he had had a plan, and that was to stay away from relatoinships and just date. That plan had worked, until I walked back into his life. Now, I'm all he can think about. BUT......a girl that he had been talking to was going to come to see him and because of money that she had spent on coming to see him, he couldn't tell her not to come. He wants me to wait (or says I can walk away, whichever I decide, but doesn't want me to do that) until after she has come and gone. He doesn't expect me to wait unless I want to. But would like me to so that we can decide what is really going on with us. I keep telling myself I do not have a problem with this. That is it all okay and we are just friends and friends don't get jealous. That it may or may not work out with anyone, we just have to see. But there's just something in the back of my mind that maeks me jealous of the whole situation.

Should I wait around, continuing to be friendly (though his friendly and going slow includes telephone calls, unexpected running into each other and holding hands while we talk), or should I walk?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 6:43pm

Here's a thought:

What if he told the other girl "after we made the plans for you to visit, I met starfire. I'm sure you'll understand if she comes along with us"

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 08-12-2005 - 7:08pm

Well, he *could* just compensate her for the money she's spent and cancel the trip. So he must want to see what happens with her on some level.

I would just treat this as a non-exclusive dating situation for the time being. When is this visit supposed to happen?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 10:39am

Yes, I agree with both of the last 2 posts. But I especially agree with the "finding out what will happen on some level". I think that it is curiosity more than anything. and it is supposed to be next week.

I've been told people "concerned" people, that I'm just a last resort... I don't want to feel that way, because that means that everything he has told me has been a lie and he keeps telling me he is being completely honset with me..... Dating sucks!!!!! :-)

there has to be great guys out there somewhere!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 10:45am

FWIW, I've found that anytime people make a big deal about being completely honest with me, that's when they are lying.

Honest people don't make a point of telling people they are being honest...they just are.

I hope that's not the case with your situation but it's definitely something to keep in mind.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-28-2004
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 11:12am

YYEAH, well that's not good! lol

Unfortunatey, it seems only time will tell. and I hate to just "hurry up and wait"