Heart and Head

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2005
Heart and Head
3
Sat, 08-13-2005 - 11:16pm

A lil background history:

Dated someone for a year.
He was an obsessive, controlling, jerk.
Cheated on me.
I found out.
Dumped him.
Vowed to spend the rest of the summer enjoying my newfound singledom.
Loving it.
Casually dating a few different guys off and on...nothing serious.
Started a new job.
Cute guy there.
Didn't think much of it because he's a lil younger than me and a grade below me (I'm a freshman in college, he's a HS senior...)
We start getting to know each other...
Getting the butterflies (oh crap)
Found out he has a girlfriend (of about two years)
Double crap.
Backed WAAAAAY off my "flirting" (if that's what you even call it...)
Been down that road before...it's not worth it...
Butterflies won't go away.
Continue dating other people (Why can't I get him out of my mind?)
Today he tells me he's thinking of breaking up with his g/f because things just aren't working out anymore and haven't been going well for about 6 months.
I quietly listen, being careful not to persuade him one way or another.
He gave me a hug today (swoon)
I'm in a pickle.

So now here's my question, well, questions...

1. Is it totally weird for me to date someone who's not quite 18 (I am well into 18) and a grade below me? I ask this because I'll be in COLLEGE and if we DID start dating, I would be stepping back into time and possibly going to his senior prom with him! hmmm...

2. What do I do as far as keeping my distance while he still has a girlfriend? Because I know it's wrong to get involved with a taken guy (not to mention it doesn't speak highly of him) BUT I don't want him to think I'm not interested...How can I let him know I can't get involved until he's single without sounding presumptuous?

3. What's y'all's honest opinions? I'm really confused right now. My heart says "go for it! Y'all would be great for each other" and my head says "no way, not until he's completely single and ready to mingle!"

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 08-14-2005 - 10:09pm

1. Is it totally weird for me to date someone who's not quite 18 (I am well into 18) and a grade below me? I ask this because I'll be in COLLEGE and if we DID start dating, I would be stepping back into time and possibly going to his senior prom with him! hmmm...


****Not going back if this someone you care for but experiencing life with them.


2. What do I do as far as keeping my distance while he still has a girlfriend? Because I know it's wrong to get involved with a taken guy (not to mention it doesn't speak highly of him) BUT I don't want him to think I'm not interested...How can I let him know I can't get involved until he's single without sounding presumptuous?


*********Step back and allow him to approach you and if he does while dating know that is him and he will do it to you.


3. What's y'all's honest opinions? I'm really confused right now. My heart says "go for it! Y'all would be great for each other" and my head says "no way, not until he's completely single and ready to mingle!"


***Let him approach you you and go from there.





































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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2005
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 12:59am
I took your advice. Actually, we were talking and I told him I didn't want to come between him and his gf (because that wasn't my intention in the first place). I told him basically to give me a call if he were ever single...he told me he was having problems with his gf before he met me and had been thinking of breaking up with her beforehand. Well, I didn't talk to him for a while and then today he told me he broke up with her. I guess things worked out okay!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-14-2005
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 8:40am

Well, a little update here- :(

Just a little over a day of being broke up, they got back together. Oh, but he say's he "still wants to be friends" and that he's "glad he knows how I feel because now if something DID happen" he would "have someone to talk to." I said "Ok, so now I'm a backup plan? I don't think so. That's messed up." He denied that's what he meant and that it just sounded that way - well, if it looks like crap and it smells like crap, I'd say it is crap, wouldn't you?