Comming back into contact with me

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-03-2004
Comming back into contact with me
2
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 9:32pm
My ex boyfriend has started Emailing me again. We had a very very rocky relationship for about the past year and a half after a steady absolutly wonderful 3 year realtionship with one another. Off and on constantly...Mostly him leaving me saying he didnt know what he wanted or something wasnt right or something very deep and emotional like that. A few times our breakups were quite volitle. we would have a few months of happiness and then back into the same downward spiral where we would break up and i would be devestated. Well this past time we were living together for about 4 months when he suddenly tells me that he doesnt like living with me. I must express that our living situation was terrible, our roomate sells drugs, there were constantly people in and out of the house at all hours of the night, I couldnt even come home from work and sit in my own living room because there wasnt any couch space. People were always comming in drunk or drugged out of their minds. We even had someone run up to our house being chased because he went into a bar screwed up on pills and alcahol and got mugged. I was very unhappy with this situation and i told him about it several times. Our landlord decided he wanted to sell the house we had been renting. So we were going to get a place of our own. I was sure that would help to solve our problems. He didnt feel like he had a right to say anything because we had roomates I guess...so I was hoping this would remedy it. a few weeks before we got a house he pops up with I dont like living with you. So I left..ready to be done. Well now hes emailing me telling me that hes changed and things are diffrent and he hopes one day we can be together again. Im so confused...all he does is email me he never calls and he hasnt admitted he did anything wrong in the way he treated me. Which is exactly the way he is he eventualy convinces me that its my faut and exepmts himself of any wrong doing. Theres a part of me that wonders if he really has changed and if I will regret not giving him a chance to prove it. I need help desperatly.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-15-2005 - 10:33pm

Forgive me if I'm misreading your post, but it sounds like you've already given him a whole BUNCH of chances...and nothing has changed. So what makes you think it's different this time?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-1997
Tue, 08-16-2005 - 4:47pm

Break up with me once, shame on you.
Break up with me twice, shame on me.

What follows are your words. The words in all caps are what he's offering you:

My ex boyfriend has started Emailing me again. We had A VERY VERY ROCKY RELATIONSHIP for about the past year and a half after a steady absolutly wonderful 3 year realtionship with one another. OFF AND ON CONSTANTLY...MOSTLY HIM LEAVING ME saying he didnt know what he wanted or something wasnt right or something very deep and emotional like that. A few times our BREAKUPS were QUITE VOLATILE. we would have a few months of happiness and then back into the same DOWNWARD SPIRAL where we would break up and i would be devestated. Well this past time we were living together for about 4 months when he suddenly tells me that he DOESN'T LIKE LIVING WITH ME......all he does is email me HE NEVER CALLS and he HASN'T ADMITTED HE DID ANYTHING WRONG in the way he treated me. Which is exactly the way he is he eventualy CONVINCES ME that ITS MY FAULT and EXEMPTS HIMSELF OF ANY WRONG DOING. Theres a part of me that wonders if he really has changed and if I will regret not giving him a chance to prove it. I need help desperatly.

Now close your eyes and think about the type of relationship you've always wanted, the way you want to be treated, loved and adored...

You'll find there's absolutely NO comparison between your desires vs. the way he treats you.

You deserve better, don't you think so?

Think about it....

Heymum