How should I handle this?
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| Mon, 08-29-2005 - 6:06pm |
Hello. I will give a brief summary of my situation.
I met this guy through the phone from his sister (my co-worker). He lives in Seattle, WA and me in Sacramento, CA. It was great. We liked each other a lot. He showed absolute interest for six straight weeks. He decided he wanted to fly down to meet me that same night. The following week he booked his flight and hotel. We talked on the phone daily and for hours. We even talked through the night and hung up to get up and get ready for work. It was amazing. Love, marriage, kids, future were subjects we always talked about. I can't explain how great it all was. Like a true love story.
Anyways, we finally met three weeks ago. It was better than I had expected. We literally fell in love instantly. It was just fabulous, for three days. He told me he loved me, that he would like to marry me, and even have kids with me. We also made love and it was great. Everything was great. But on the fourth day, he says to me, "I think I need some time to think. I think we're going to fast", I agreed, we were moving fast. He took a few days to think about it, and then we met and talked about it. He said he wanted to remain friends, and that his feelings for me where real, but he got scared and really wants to make sure what he's getting into. We hung out a couple more times. We kissed, hugged, and talked more. We both knew that he wasn't ready to give it up. He said we would continue to talk after he left.
Well, it's been two weeks since he's been gone and the last time we talked was the day after he left. He called me once more three days after that and left a message and said he would call back but evidently he hasn't and texted me last Tuesday apologizing for not calling because he's been real busy and very tired (not that that's ever been an excuse before). He also texted, "I'll call you sometime this week, "I'M REALLY SORRY SEXY".
Apparently I haven't received a call or anything. I know that we do love each other. Or what the hell was all that happened? An illusion of my imagination? I understand him getting scared, but why is he distant? Why can't he just call to tell me he's thinking of the situation or if he's just blown it all off?
I texted him last night to let me know what's going on with him. If I should just forget it all of what. And if he didn't respond I would assume it's all over. Obviously, I didn't get a response, so I am assuming it's all over.
It sucks. I'm sad, mad, and numb. I'm not sure what to do here. What can be going through his head? How can he just completely forget everything that was said and done and just not care of how I feel after everything? Why?
Other than no one really know, what can I do? I will no longer contact him. I am done. I just need words of some kind of encouragement.
Thanks,
Aracely

I'm sorry for you that things didn't work out as you had hoped. I know what it's like to meet a guy, have what seems like great chemistry on the phone and in person, and then experience the pain and sadness that comes when they seemingly change on a dime. BTDT.
The best thing you can do is try to put this behind you and move forward. I think it will hurt less in the future if you take things a little slower and hold off on sex at least for a couple of months (if not longer). Don't be so quick to give it up. Give yourself time to get to know the guy. You'd be surprised what time can reveal or what can unfold in just an additional eight weeks.
He sounds like the kind of guy who may be stuck in the "infatuation mode" or the excitement/euphoria that typically comes along with the start of a new relationship. Or, he could've decided he didn't want to get involved in an LDR. It could be anything really.
Don't call him. Move forward and forget about him. If he calls you at all, let him be the one to pursue you.
All the best,
Heymum