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| Sun, 09-04-2005 - 11:30am |
im not sure how to handle this one. im 42 hes 38 (2 months together) both of us were unhappy in our prior relationships. we ARE in love (we clicked like love at 1st site) - my problem: besides being a "guy" hes a mechanic & with toys. he loves being with me &(always comes over after work) & than he says he'll come over or try to come over - than doesnt - probably happenend 2 saturdays in a row (other than that its been ok) - he seems to get tied up in what hes working on than thats it til the following day (the call always comes in) - he wants to move in together one day & possibly move out of state ............ how do i deal with this (he always acts like hes done nothing wrong) - maybe its caused from past relationships that had no boundries ????? it cant and wont with me ------ HELP / im gettin too old for this - should i wait it out ??? (they all can be trained to a point)
Edited 9/5/2005 7:25 am ET ET by leseec
Edited 9/5/2005 7:25 am ET ET by leseec

I'll come straight to the point. Hon, if he's this flaky only two months in, imagine being two years in!!!
At this stage, it's obvious that your feelings mean less to him than his interests do. And he has no understanding of courtesy. I'm not suggesting that he should spend every evening with you - because we all need a bit of time to ourselves. However, frequently making then changing plans is unacceptable and hurtful. If he says that he's coming to see you then you should expect him to be true to his word.
He should *plan* to have two nights doing guy stuff so that he won't need to stand you up. However, at the age of 42 he should have figured out basic time management strategies long ago. I know you say that they can all be trained to a point...but isn't 42 a bit old to be doing basic courtesy and time management training with?
It's up to you whether or not you can be bothered training him. But to me, one of the advantages of getting older is that the guys should already be 'house trained'.